


The Day Hinata-kun Became Hinata-san

by CoolyCakeCove



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Dialogue Heavy, F/F, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Humor, M/M, Subtle Humor, double meanings, obscure references, puns, references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 16:41:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4312557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoolyCakeCove/pseuds/CoolyCakeCove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Day Hinata-kun Became Hinata-san!</p><p>Mr. Monokuma always refers to his boys as "kun" and his girls as "san," so what happens to poor Hinata Hajime?</p><p>*Takes Place in Chapter 3---when Kuzuryuu's back, but not before the Despair Disease*</p><p>★ discontinued ★</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Now Hinata-san P1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was made waaay back in 2015; I swear the writing gets better...I mean, I hope so. I think I've improved since 2015. 
> 
> Oh, honorifics get dropped, funnily enough
> 
> Enjoy:

★・★・★・★

**The Day Hinata-kun Became Hinata-san!**

Mr. Monokuma always refers to his boys as "kun" and his girls as "san," so what happens to poor Hinata Hajime? Takes Place in Chapter 3---when Kuzuryuu's back, but not before the Despair Disease.

Inspired by this pic here ~ http://www.zerochan.net/1504769

_**Don't take this fic too seriously - it was just a random idea I had while I was browsin' through DR2 photos!** ( ~~And I'm not the best writer ever, haha)~~_

* * *

 

 ★・★・★・★

**Prologue**  
**Now Hinata-san P1**

★・★・★・★

* * *

 

The first thing I remember is the party we planned for Kuzuryuu's return, when I wake up. It's supposed to be tomorrow, right? Komaeda doesn't seem murderous right now, but as unpredictable as he is, that could change in a second. I really don't want a repeat of the first trial.

The announcement's just beginning when I sit up in bed. I woke up early. Usually I alternate between no sleep or deep sleep, so to sleep and wake up before the announcement? Could this be called lucky? Anyways, I stand up, ignoring that stupid beast, and bend over to grab my shoes---but something's different.

One, I don't wear socks this long. Two, is my hair longer than normal? Three, there's a draft. There's never a draft---

I make a beeline for the bathroom mirror---

What's this? I don't look like this. My hair's not this long---am I wearing a skirt? I'm wearing a skirt!---is this a girl's body? What the---

"Waaaah!"

"What the fucking hell, Monokumaaaaa?"

"C-Calm down, guys..."

My friends are panicking as well. Don't tell me---I'm a girl? How can you turn a boy into a girl overnight?---Is this magic? No, that doesn't exist! What the heck is going on?

With one last regretful look in the mirror, I put on my shoes and race outside.

What---

Of the twelve of us left---including Nidai who isn't here right now---the majority of us are...different, to put it lightly.

Tsumiki, Owari, Souda, Mioda, Kuzuryuu, Nanami, and even Komaeda too, are all---

"---gender-flippeeeeed!" Mioda cries.

"I-I-I don't understand how...!" Tsumiki cries.

"Cool, I'ma boy now!" Owari grins.

"Monokuma must be behind this," Nanami says thoughtfully. "Are we all here?"

They're all crowded in front of the pool, so they can't see me. I run up to them. "You guys, too?"

"Oh! Hinata-kun!" Komaeda says cheerfully. "Or perhaps Hinata-san now?"

I shoot him a glare before ignoring him---her---ugh. "Did the same thing happened to you guys?"

"I woke up this mornin' and got ready to go, right?" Souda says. "And then I discover I have boobs!"

"Oh my!" Sonia gasps. "This is most unfortunate!"

"This is sooo not cool!" Mioda complains. "Ibuki likes guys but that doesn't mean she wants to be one!"

"You all look uglier than normal," Saionji says. "Are you completely changed or some things still the same? Ugh, this is so gross!"

"Nah, we're completely changed," Owari grins. She--he--what? pats their chest. "Solid muscle!"

"What kind of black art is this?" Tanaka says, blue in the face from surprise.

"The first damn day I'm here and I get fucking turned into a girl!" Kuzuryuu curses. "Is this some kinda revenge for Peko?"

"P-Please no more slicing yourself!" Tsumiki pleads.

I standing next to Nanami, and because...er, they're taller than me, not just our bodies changed, but our heights too.

"Nanami," I say. "Everything thing about our bodies changed."

"Yeah...D'you think Monokuma simply put us in different bodies?"

"Would Monokuma really work that hard just to get us to kill each other?" Komaeda interrupts. "I can't imagine this being a serious motive. Why only turn some of us instead of all of us?"

"Weeeell, why don't you just ask me?"

Monokuma appears out of nowhere as usual.

"Not surprised? I was wanting forever to find a perfect time to appear! Act a little surprised!"

"What did you do?" I demand.

Monokuma giggles. "Straightforward, are we? That part's obvious. This is an alternative universe in which most of you all were gender-flipped!"

"Very interesting," Komaeda says. "Now how is this a motive?"

"Teenagers are very interesting, yanno? They're treated like a kid, but expected to be adults. And that's not even getting into hormones and all..."

"We didn't ask for all that!" Souda says.

"Calm down, Souda-saaaan. I'm getting to it. Besides the obvious---and boring---approach of 'kill to get changed back,' I've been readin' some psychological thrillers and that psychological motives are hella more fun!"

What's so psychological about this? Our minds haven't been changed at all!

"Y'know how you teens get your crushes, and all? What if you were the same gender as your crush now? Too bad your crush is straight and no amount of convincing can get a straight person to homo it up!" He cackles. "Or what if your crush and you both flipped genders? Would their 'endearing traits' make 'em so hot or so not?"

"You're kidding me..." Kuzuryuu sighs. "This isn't just some gender game---it's a...a love game?"

"Biiingo, Kuzuryuu-san!"

"You...want us to murder because we cannot hold the eye of our affections?" Sonia gasps.

"While I am going for that..." the bear says with a sly grin, "the real motive is **jealousy**. **Envy.** How far are you willing to go to keep your sweetheart?"

What...?!

This motive is only a psychological game? How can I stop anybody from loving anyone? We're forced to sit and wait and watch as jealousy convinces someone to kill? This...has to be the worst kind of motive he could give us...

"Now then...if I'm done explaining things, why don't you guys enjoy today? And for a special bonus, I got rid of my stupid little sister so she wouldn't bug you! But mostly me. Adios!" With that, he leaves.

"We...should get some food," Sonia says.

"I know I am!" Saionji mocks. "I don't love none of you idiots and none of you love me, so I'm fine!" She leaves too.

"Guess we're gonna hafta live with her a little longer..." Souda groans.

"You're making it sound like we're gonna kill, Kazuichi-chan," Mioda sighs. "As much as Ibuki hates this, she definitely doesn't wanna kill her friends."

"U-Um, about that..." Tsumiki twiddles their fingers. "Mioda-san...since you're a boy now, shouldn't you i-identify with the opposite gender...?"

"Tsumiki-kun is right," Komaeda says. "For now, we'll refer to each other as our physical appearance. Of course, the honorific you use doesn't have to change, but it's a little fun doing it...."

Nanami yawns. "So I guess I'm a 'he' now, huh...?"

"A-Anyways, the bear's right," I say. "We still need a day to get used to our new bodies..."

Within mumurs of agreement, we all head to the restaurant. I can feel every breeze going by. It's almost like I'm not even wearing pants.

I know for a fact we're not in some kind of alternative reality, but I can't help to notice how well done everything is. Even the most trivial things---such as my boxers being turning into girl underwear and with a bra to match---the bear's done it. He went all out on this.

That's why I feel like we aren't going to spend our time relaxing. With so much thought put into this one motive whereas all the others were forced and choppy, like trying to kill us as soon as possible, this seems way too smooth, too relaxed. Is he really going to let us relax?

For now...I have to focus on Souda. I'm worried that he'd become a killer. He does like Sonia after all, and even if Sonia did roll that way, if someone were to find out, she'd never be queen.

I also try to think why the others were changed. Mioda is complaining the first most (right in front of Souda). Kuzuryuu definitely feels out of place and balance with his eyepatch and skirt. I don't want to be a girl. Komaeda's taking it easy, but he is wishy-washy. Owari's taking it well, but she doesn't take anything too seriously. And I don't see any reason to turn Nanami or Tsumiki, because I don't think anyone would get jealous for them, nor do I think they'd become jealous.

Sonia, Saionji, and Tanaka (and hopefully Nidai) all remain the same.

With the twelve of us remaining...can we hope to survive without any more deaths?

★・★・★・★


	2. The Newlywed Game P1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for spelling errors if you see any...
> 
> If you guys have any ideas for couple games, let me know if you can!
> 
> ( ￣▽￣)

★・★・★・★

Chapter 01  
The Newlywed Game P1

★・★・★・★

* * *

 

Thankfully, Sonia helped us guys-turned-girls in the basic art of "femininity." Whenever girls sit, they had to make sure to tuck their skirt underneath them, or risk flashing everyone. This rule only applies to Kuzuryuu and me. And...get this: girls had to be careful when running because of their chests. Fortunately, Komaeda and I are on the short side, so we don't have to worry as much.

Ugh...I'm actually analyzing my friends' sizes....

Sonia (privately) also helped us with bras. I even learned my size---B something. Kuzuryuu, Souda, and I were all ashamed of this change of events, but Komaeda seemed the happiest and the most eager, actively comparing sizes.

We three were so bad those stupid bras, it took us most of the day to undo and redo. I don't mean to sound weird but...I guess learning how bras work could help me later....

The more I learned how to control my body, the more embarrassing it got. I'm a boy, both mentally and emotionally. I like girls. But I'm a girl myself. It feels horrible yet so interesting and I feel both ashamed and embarrassed.

With girls and boys being separated---with exception from Sonia and Tanaka teaching us the art of our opposite genders, we didn't see the "boys" at all. I think it's for the best. I was probably as red as a ruby.

True to his word, Monokuma didn't bother us at all yesterday. We didn't see him nor Monomi. If I have to suffer in a girl's body with no Monokuma...I'd prefer being a girl.

Speaking of which...how did he manage to change us? I tried not thinking too hard about it.

After a fitful night, I wake up a while before the announcement. I spend the time observing my appearance. Still a girl. With long hair. That Sonia insisted I brush every three days and comb everyday. Picking up the comb she gave me, I start combing. My hair is pretty thin. I get through it with no problems.

The announcement goes off when I finish---

"Hey, Hinata-saaan?"

The bear is in my home. "What now? Why are you here?"

"Oh, no reason. Just wanna tell you to make sure you eat breakfast and please head to Jabberwock Park when you're done!"

"Why...? Is this a repeat of that comedy show again?" Because it was awful.

"No! Just do it. And if you don't, you'll be punished---and you and I both know that 'punish' means an excruciatingly painful and hilarious death!" He leaves after that.

What's he planning now? Nevermind, I'm leaving. I head outside and to the hotel. Nanami is in the lobby playing some game.

"Nanami?" I say.

"...Huh?" she, er, he mumbles. "Oh. Good morning, Hinata-san."

Hinata-san too? "Yeah, morning. So...how's it like being a boy...?"

"It's definitely interesting. I never knew how guys functioned 'til now." He pauses in thought. "...Well, I had a little data from you, Hinata-san, but now I have a full perspective. How is it like being a girl?"

"It's...there." I can't decide if this is enjoyable or hateable. "I don't get how you girls can stand such short skirts."

"It makes you look cuter. And if you think you look good, you feel good. That's how most girls think. I think."

I smile a bit. "Thanks, Nanami. Do you comb your hair everyday? Sonia said girls had to do that."

"...I did, but since I'm a boy, I no longer need to. You didn't, right?" He gets a serious look in his eyes. "I'm gonna be the best boy I can be."

...Why? "G-Good luck..."

It feels weird not being taller than Nanami. But just because I'm smaller, doesn't necessarily mean I don't follow a pattern. I'm smaller than Nanami, but still taller than Kuzuryuu (I don't think his height changed, just my view) and a centimeter short than Komaeda.

Anyways, I head upstairs with Nanami following behind. Everyone's already there, with Owari eating as normal.

"Hey, Hinata." Kuzuryuu sits next to me. "Did you get Monokuma's message?"

"Yeah. Meet in Jabberwock Park. Why though?"

"That's what we've been tryna figure out. He gave us a day break 'cause he's planning something."

"If he wants all of us there," Souda mumbles, "then it can't just be about us, right? He wants to affect all of us."

"But with what?" Kuzuryuu growls. "What the fuck does that bear what outta us?"

"To kill someone," Saionji says cheerfully. "Duh, Kuzuryuu-nee!"

"Fuck you just say?"

"I said---"

"Everyone, fighting won't help us," Komaeda says. "The best way of getting information sometimes is to just play along. So let's all just see what Monokuma has in store for us. After all, we won't learn it any other way, right?"

"I also agree," Sonia says. "It is imperative we keep our emotional states calm so that we do not succumb to jealousy." It's probably my imagination, but Sonia looks at Souda in particular.

With that...we all try our best to eat. It can't be anything bad, right?

\---right?

・★・

* * *

 

After we all have some amount of food in our stomachs, we all head to Jabberwock Park. Naturally, Saionji complains the most, but she still trots along because she says Monokuma told her he'll remove all gummy bears and replace them with lemon gummy bears. Who knew sweets can actually help people?

When we get there, nothing's out of the ordinary. Monokuma is up to something---we haven't seen Monomi in two days.

"M-Maybe we're okay for now," Souda mumbles.

"That wouldn't be much fun," Komaeda comments.

"We don't want fun! We want a fucking break!" Kuzuryuu growls, but her high-pitched voice sounds closer to yelling.

"I wonder where Monomi is..." Nanami says.

"Monomi is very durable...however how useless she is," Sonia says. "Perhaps she is trying to stop Monokuma?"

"Unlikely, stupidheads," Saionji snickers. "That damn bunny can't do anything right."

"Sorry, did I keep you waaaiting?"

Monokuma appears in front of us wearing a---

"Is that...formal attire?" Tanaka gasps.

\---wearing a suit even fancier than Kuzuryuu's.

"Le gasp!" the bear says. "You guys didn't wear formal clothing? You really just a bunch of pigs, aren't ya?"

"What's the meanin' of this, bear?" Owari says, ready to throttle the bear.

"Meaning? Well, to put your mind at ease and relax here on beautiful Jabberwock Island, I've prepared a game for you!" He pauses for a beat. "That doesn't involve killing!"

"What now?" I say.

"It's a cuuute little game! One that's played with partners, and I'm gonna pick all them!" Monokuma clears his throat as he unrolls a scroll. "Couple one: Sonia-san and Tanaka-kun!"

"WHAT?" Souda shouts. "Why should Lady Sonia be forced to cooperate with that weirdo?"

"Extravagant talk coming from a walking plantain," Tanaka says quietly.

"Huh? What's that?"

"I-I think it means 'banana...!'" Tsumiki replies, blushing.

"WHAT?"

"And out next couple is: Nanami-kun and Tsumiki-kun!"

"Oh, really?" Nanami says in a tone like commenting on the weather. "Nice to meet you, Tsumiki-kun."

"I-I-I'll do my best not to e-embarrass you, Nanami-san!"

"The bitch already did," Saionji says. "You had one job---match the honorific to the name. And failed, Tsumiki-nii."

"She calls everyone 'san,'" I say.

"Shuddup, Hinata-nee!"

Mioda groans. "Oi, oi, oi! Only Ibuki is supposed to be loud. That's like his defining character trait!" Then he pouts. "It's not the same as using 'her,' guys..."

"Good thing you spoke up, Mioda-kun, 'cause you're paired with Souda-san!"

"What is with you and pairing up people! You fucking suck at this!"

"Only you're complaining, Souda," I say, wishing everyone could act a little more normal.

Monokuma throws the scroll somewhere behind him. "Anywho, not all of you guys are gonna play this game, 'cause your couple isn't here. In the case of Saionji-san, nobody likes her, so she won't ever play!"

Saionji hmphs.

"Owari-kun and Kuzuryuu-san are not playing this time. So all the other couples get your partner!"

"Wait, Monokuma," Komaeda says, "does that mean Hinata-san and I are a couple?"

What?

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I guess."

What?!

"What?" I shout. "Seriously? Why?"

Monokuma ignores me. "Mkay, guys! What we're about to play is a game suited for couples everywhere! Now, pretend you're all married---"

"Married?" Sonia echoes.

"---yes, I just said that. And give it up for our game: **The Newlywed Game**!"

On his last word, the floor in front of him opens up to reveal the game. A purple, heart-shaped floor with purple curtains. Red heart seats circling a big red lip couch. Every two chairs are not only close than normal, but also shares a table.

"Gwaaah!" Mioda says. "What is thiiiis?"

"The Newlywed Game," he says. "Duh."

"We have to sit in those things...?" Tanaka says with a hint of disgust.

"It looks adorable, if I may say," Sonia says.

"Great. Now couples you can sit wherever you like. Non-couples, you sit on the couch and be the narrator, got it?"

We all reluctantly got to our seats. Komaeda finds my seat and she sits down next to me, eagerly.

"You know," she says, "trash like me has never been loved, so I'm no good at this. I'll try to do my best for Hinata-san's sake, though."

Never been loved...? Besides that comment about his---her own mother "never complimenting me," I just thought it was Komaeda being, well, Komaeda. The more we speak, the less I understand him.

"Alright!" Monokuma says. "You couples better stay safe! I'll be watching you! Have fun!" With that, he leaves.

Kuzuryuu's holding a sheet of paper in her hands. "The directions. Okay, couples use the two whiteboards and markers under the table. So, get it."

Komaeda grabs the objects before I move and hands me my share.

"...Next, one person writes down the answers they think their spouse would say, and the other writes down their answer to the question. First couple to make it to three, switches the answerer, and the next to get three, wins."

"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to go first," Tanaka says behind his scarf.

Sonia giggles. "Please do!"

Mioda smirks. "You know, Ibuki doesn't know a thing about Kazuichi-chan, but he does know that it's always ladies first!"

"You used to be a girl!"

"But you are a girl!"

"Tsumiki-kun," Nanami says, "do you want me to go first?"

"A-Are you sure you don't want me to go first...?"

"I don't really mind, but this is a game and I'm kinda eager to play it. I'm not so good at games that aren't digital."

"Hinata-san!" Komaeda smiles. "I'll go first!"

"Whatever."

Owari looks bored and is currently playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with Saionji, leaving Kuzuryuu with the chore of the host. "W-We're going to start now...um..." Kuzuryuu turns red in the face. "Er...everyone who's starting first..will be the husbands...um, the first question is: 'Which one of your wife's friends would...look the best in a...bikini?'"

I feel my cheeks heat up remembering the day Koizumi died. I write my answer down.

"Q-Question," Tanaka says, just as red as Kuzuryuu. "Do 'friends' include male friends as well as female friends...?"

"Everyone is my friend here," Sonia says. "We can only pick the people who are...and were...living here."

"Time's up," Kuzuryuu says. "Start clockwise. Go."

"I...I do not have an answer to this question," Tanaka blushes.

"That's okay! You are not the one to be so 'promiscuous,' Tanaka-san." Sonia flips over her board that reads Tanaka's name.

Tanaka buries his head further into his scarf.

"Our turn! Whaddya guess, Kazuichi-chan?"

Souda turns the board over with Pekoyama's name on it. "You said something about her on that day..."

"Booyah! Did you see how big those things were? Ibuki was so jealous!"

"One point," Kuzuryuu says quickly. "Next."

"I also went by how you acted on that day," Nanami says. "I didn't get there until late, though." She flips the card to read Mioda's name. "That's the reason why you went along with her, right...?"

"Y-Yes, only because Mioda-san is a bit more modest than most..!"

"Me? Modest?" Mioda says. "How flattering, Mikan-chan! Ibuki totes wouldn't describe himself as that, though."

"Another point." Kuzuryuu faces Komaeda and me. "And you two?"

Komaeda flips the board over, revealing---

"H-How could you know that?" I say, blushing. On the board is Nanami's name. "You weren't even there!"

"It's true. I was a little tied up," she frowns. "But Hinata-san...did you forget once again? The only thing something like me is worth for is my luck."

"Grrr..." She's right, of course.

"Okay, so next question. What is your spouse's most irritating habit?"

If I were writing down answers, I'd totally get this one right.

Saionji and Owari are still going strong on Rock Paper Scissors. It seems like they've added extra gestures.

What's the most irritating habit I have? Probably...my bluntness, I guess.

"Finished, Kuzuryuu-san!" Sonia says.

Tanaka flips over his board that reads: culture shock. "I am sorry, mistress."

Sonia turns hers over. "Do not be sorry! I also wrote the same thing."

Kuzuryuu taps his palm to his forehead. "I hate couples..."

"W-Well, Mioda and I have our answers too!" Souda flips over his hoard that reads: Loudness.

"Kyahaha!" Mioda cackles. "Once again the knife of truth stabs me again!" Her board reads the same.

"One for them, two for you." She gestures to the next couple. "What about you?"

"Clumsiness, I suppose?" Nanami says.

"I-I-I'm sorry!" Tsumiki cries. "I-I wrote being ugly...!"

Saionji giggles. "Oh good, so you do admit it!"

Nanami pouts. "You're not ugly, Tsumiki-kun. Not when you're a boy or girl."

Finally, it's our turn. Komaeda flips over his board that holds the correct answer my board reads.

"Bluntness, eh?" Kuzuryuu says. "It's true you're more straightforward than most, but it's not like it's irritating. At least you ain't one of those guys who says everything indirectly."

I give Komaeda a pointed look.

"You think I do that, Hinata-san?"

"I don't think. I know."

"Next one who gets this point wins," continues the yakuza. "We all know lucky boy's gonna get it, but at least try, okay? Next question...When did your wife...get her first...kiss...?"

"Huh?" Sonia says. "First kiss?"

"Does anybody here have virgin lips?" Mioda says. "No? Yes?"

"Can I go first, Kuzuryuu-san?" Nanami says.

"It's not like I care."

"I don't think you've been kissed before, right?"

"No..." the nurse shyly says. "Everybody prefers to hit me rather than kiss me....Because that's how people care about me...!"

"You are one messed up chick," Owari yawns. "I can't believe this lolita managed to beat me, though..."

"It's a game of smarts," Saionji grins. "Someone as dumb as you could never figure it out."

...Okay then.

I've never been kissed before. I'm not afraid to admit it. I just haven't found the right one yet...

Wait a minute. For such a motive, this seems really...calm. It's not *that* embarrassing so that someone would kill someone else.

Is...Is Monokuma planning on doing more "games" like these?

"Hinata-san and I would like to go next! This time, I didn't use my luck and because I just know Hinata-san wouldn't be the person to have been kissed before, right?"

My eyebrow twitches. "Can you say it louder?...I don't think everyone heard you clearly."

"You've never been kissed before, dude?" Souda says. "We gotta hook Hinata up! It could be a double date---Lady Sonia and I and Hinata and Nanami!"

"Kazuichi-chan's crush on Sonia-chan is double gross now that you're a girl," Mioda complains. "Ibuki isn't the one to be harsh on others, but MOVE ON!"

"Whatever! It's not you've been kissed before! And relatives don't count!"

"Did too!" Mioda flips her board to reveal: 13.

"Wh-What?"

"Oh my," Sonia says.

"In the end, Hinata and Komaeda got three points, so we're switching," says the yakuza.

"Wh-What about Lady Sonia?"

"She's a princess---she can't just be throwin' around that stuff, Souda."

"G-Good..." Tanaka says behind his scarf.

"No, no, no, I've got an even better idea~!"

Monokuma.

"Missed me?" The bear no longer wears a suit. "I know you did, so you don't hafta say anything, baka!"

"I'm gonna punch it," Owari says. "I seriously am."

"The Newlywed Game is fun and all, but we'll continue the game at a later date! Because I want these slackers to join in on the fun."

"Slackers? You let us relax," Saionji pouts.

"Who cares? Consider this an icebreaker, 'cause everyday you *couples* are going to play a couple game. That's why I couldn't host today, busy planning the rest of your lives until you kill someone."

"...It won't work, Monokuma," Komaeda says. "We're not so weak as to fall to that."

Monokuma just doesn't care. "You say that, you say that, but even if these questions were lighthearted, I could still feel a twinge of jealousy in air, not counting Souda-san, obviously. This is only just the beginning! Love is in the air! Spread it fair and wide! Or...fare and wide? Meh."

"Th-There's always a catch to these things!" Tsumiki groans.

Mioda growls. "Yeah, bear, it's bad enough that we've changed genders! Why are you forcing us to get along then?"

"Were you not listening? You're putting your ears to shame. Drama. Your crush isn't the same gender as you for most of you. For some, your crush is the same gender as you. Don't you think it'll too easy to just walk up to your crush and confess? And because I'm not changing you back until you kill someone, are you okay spending the rest of your life in a body that isn't yours?"

...

So, this is his trap.

Even if we do manage to confess...we're still stuck in these foreign bodies. If...the last murders are anything to go by, some people can't handle things like this as easily as others.

I don't want to see my family as a girl and tell them a bear changed me. Would they still recognize me? Would they accept me?

I'm thinking too much about this....

The bear laughs at his success. "The looks on your faces! But hey, love is in the air, so lighten up! Better spend the days with your love interest like you're some kind of a harem hero before somebody offs them!" And he exits.

"Tch," Kuzuryuu growls. "Going home with an eyepatch, dead sister, and dead Peko. I'm such a damn success...."

"U-Uh...it's okay, guys...we still have Kuzuryuu's party to celebrate..." says Mioda.

"I'm not in a partying mood, Mioda-kun," Nanami sighs. "We should reschedule it...until Nidai-kun comes back."

Just like normal...good things happen...then bad things.

We try to throw Kuzuryuu a party, but get interrupted by Owari fighting Monokuma. Then again once more, but gender swaps...

And now we're facing a motive that no one can stop.

★・★・★・★


	3. Strip Poker-Uno P1

**The Day Hinata-kun Became Hinata-san!**

comedy/parody ~ teens only

One day, Hinata Hajime wakes up in a girl's body as apart of Monokuma's new motive. Now he faces the bear's hardest motive yet: love! Random story based off a pic: zerochan.net/1504769

* * *

 

・★・

Chapter 02  
Strip Poker P1

・★・

* * *

 

“Damn that bear, damn his family, damn his cow," Kuzuryuu curses. “And goddamn this skirt that shows my ass more than it covers it!"

“Being upset isn't likely to help anything," Nanami says, but her -- his heart just isn't in it.

“Yeah, it's not so bad after all!" Owari beams.

Tonight we hold our first meeting: "Gender-Swapped Gentlemen." It had to do with something about how all the girls are guys, and all the guys are girls, so, technically, everyone is a guy in some form. I, fortunately, took no part in this naming ceremony.

As a recap, Kuzuryuu, Souda, Komaeda, and I are all girls now.

Nanami, Tsumiki, Mioda, Owari are all boys now.

Nidai is still gone; Sonia, Tanaka, and Saionji are all the same.

And now Monokuma wants us to murder for love -- or the lack of, but there's no way somebody like me can stop something like that. Maybe I can delay it until the counter in the park runs down?

“I-I feel more clumsy in this body than my old body," Tsumiki says, face as pink as her -- his shirt.

“Our new bodies will take some getting used to," Komaeda adds with a small smile, "but I am confident symbols of hope like you all -- "

"Fuck no. You are not about to rave about hope!" Kuzuryuu had thrown her bunched up jacket at Komaeda. Komaeda grabs it with a grunt and chuckles, but he -- she keeps quiet.

“Everyone," I say, "Monokuma wants us to give in to love and jealousy, but we can't. We all know what happens at the Class Trials. You don't feel better after killing your classmates, alright?"

The room sobers up fast.

“Geez, Hajime-chan," Mioda grumbles. “Too deep, girl."

“'G-Girl?'" I stammer. “We are not making that a thing. Call me dude or guy, or any other gender neutral pronouns."

“Hinata-san, you shouldn't forget who you are," Komaeda adds with a smile I know is dripping in mockery. “Acceptance is the first step to not only confidence, but happiness."

“Oh, Owari-kun is doing that, isn't he?" Nanami adds. "He seems very pleased about the gender-swaps."

"Yeah! Ya guys are too negative, you know?" Owari adds.

Souda groans loudly. “Look, I don't really care. I'm not gonna kill somebody, guys. There's no way I got the guts for it."

“I think we should call the meeting over," Kuzuryuu says. “We're all pretty much stable, sans hope boy -- girl -- hope spawn over there. Let's just prepare our minds for tomorrow...." She rubs her temples. “I get the feeling shit will hit the fan."

...I hope she's exaggerating.

* * *

 

★

_Hinata-san! Morning gozaimasu~!_

_Kyou wa we're going to have some tanoshii desu yo ne! So be sure to bring your bikini, but wear it under your clothes unless you're..."crazy" like that. We'll meet at noon at the beach!_

_With ai,_  
_Monokuma da yo!_

I ignore my first impulse to burn it, and settle for flushing it down the toilet. If only, if only I could bleach my brain.

When I head to breakfast, I'm the last one there. Nobody notices when I walk in.

“What does that mean?" Sonia was saying.

Souda's eyes have stars in them. “A pool party! And this time, less death!"

Judging his words, they're talking about the note.

“I'm going to kill you if you mention that again, banana boy," Saionji hisses. Souda flinches.

“No point speculating without anymore evidence!" Komaeda smiles. “Ah, Sonia-san, can we girls request you take us shopping?"

Sonia giggles. “With pleasure!"

“And that leaves Tanaka-kun with the boys."

Tanaka gasps. “I -- I will not commence that disgusting mortal activity called 'shopping' with a bunch a transformed mortals! The Four Dark Devas laugh at you petty bags of blood!"

"Hey, dark weirdo," Owari says, pausing in eating (it must be serious). “You take us dude shopping or else those Four Dark dorks are gonna be my hotdogs for lunch!"

Tanaka blanches. “A...As if they would surrender that easily to you!"

And...I should step in. “I used to be a dude, too. I can just help you gi -- guys myself."

“Waah!" Mioda grins, because of course his hearing picks up my voice. “Hajime-chan's right! Ibuki is pretty positive that Hajime-chan wouldn't get turned on by us guys unless she's got a weird fetish of gender flips."

I feel my entire body turn red as I stammer and stammer. I don't even know what I want to say, but I'm _trying_.

“Leave the poor guy alone," I hear Souda say. “You'll break him at this point."

“Then is it settled?" Sonia says. “I will take the girls shopping and Hinata-san will do the boys?"

“Correct," Nanami says simply.

* * *

 

★

It's...weird, to say the least. I remember when Sonia was giving me lessons on how to be girl and how my mind was blown. Now, I watch as four girls are introduced to the world of boy shopping.

"Hah, sweeet!" Mioda says as he observes green swim shorts. "These things look like boxers! How can you guys tell the difference?"

"It's not that hard..." But, honestly, there has been days I wore swim shorts to school instead of boxers because it was the last clean thing.

"Nice!" I hear Owari say, and when I peak over to the aisle where he is, I see he's looking at shark teeth necklaces. "I can finally wear necklaces without my boobs swallowin' them up! Just got my manly pecks over here!"

...I saw nothing.

I stroll over to where Nanami and Tsumiki are, and pale.

"Ah, Hinata-san," Nanami greets. "These swimsuits are what Tsumiki-kun calls 'thongs.' What is a thong?"

I choke. Tsumiki looks too embarrassed to say anything, so I go, "Um...it, uh...offers the least...resistance?"

(What the hell was that -- are you --

"Oh. These must be what professional swimmers wear. I guess I'm not the right level yet."

\-- a smart person?) I scratch my soft hair. "...yeah."

"U-Um, Hinata-san?" Tsumiki looks less scarlet. "So...d-do we have to walk around shirtless? I've seen m-many boys do so at the beach when I was busy making myself an umbrella, so..."

Tsumiki...I hope nobody kills anyone so boy!Tsumiki can kick their asses. "No, doesn't matter. Most just do it because they're hot or trying to show off."

He smiles. "Th-Thank you! I will remember that!"

Namami, who I think was spacing out, says, "That's funny. In videogames, nobody ever really remembers. Or...whatever they do remember doesn't factor in to the game's ending." Nanami yawns. "Something like that."

"Nanami." I place a hand on his shoulder, his tall shoulder. "No."

* * *

 

★

At noon, we all gather at the beach. I've got my...bikini on, blue with white flowers, underneath my normal clothes...er, me wearing a skirt isn't normal. I don't think Saionji will show up, particularly because she loves nobody and everybody hates her or is neutral to her and in no rush to increase their bond.

I don't hate Saionji at all. Yes, she's irritating and spoiled and she bosses me around when I talk to her, but I do envy her confidence. She's a child-like dancer and she does all these antics to seem stronger. I'm embarrassingly normal, yet I do nothing to fix it.

I wish I could be special.

"Yo, Hinata!" Souda throws an arm around me, making me collide into her hips --

no fair! She has curves and I don't! How unfair!

...what was that? I blink. "Uh, hey, what's up?"

"Bikinis are really cozy, you know. For girls, not so much guys."

"Did you wear a bikini while you were a guy?" I deadpan.

"It was a dare!"

"You must've loved that dare."

"Fine! I did, so WHAT?" Souda pulls away. "Man, I hope Lady Sonia doesn't wear another wetsuit again. Such a boner-killer..."

"Souda, we're on an island of death. Our families can be worried sick about us. Stop trying to get into pants," I say firmly, but my girly voice makes me sound like a mother.

Even Souda gives me an odd look. "You alright? You ain't gonna get a period on me, are you?"

..!

"WHAT?! No, that's ridiculous!" There's no way that bear could make me have a -- a...

I'm interrupted by everyone else's arrival. We all wear our normal (?) clothes with swim suits underneath.

"Oh man, oh man..." Souda mumbles. "Doesn't seem like Lady Sonia is wearing a wet suit..."

I roll my eyes. Some people can't change.

"Yoooo, ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready for teddy?!"

Tsumiki shrieks and tumbles to the ground. Nanami helps him up.

Owari scratches his ear. "'Bout time that bear's here."

"Hey!" Monokuma pops up out of nowhere looking like he owns a casino; a big hat, glossy sunglasses, and a cigar in his mouth. "I'M on time. I made sure to be on time for our next motive~!"

"If I may ask," says Sonia, "what would that motive be?"

"Please turn your heads to the right," Monokuma replies belatedly.

I turn my head and only see a large expanse of sand --

The earth rumbles like an earthquake. I'm used to earthquakes, but this girl body isn't and it sends me tumbling into somebody. We both crash into the ground just as the shaking stops.

"S-Sorry..." I mumble.

The person I'm on top of chuckles. "It's alright! I'm selfishly glad I could cushion an Ultimate's fall!"

I practically leap to my feet. Komaeda gets to her feet without my help.

"Komaeda...?" I says.

She beams. "Yes, Hinata-san?"

 _"Hinata-san," really...?_ "Why do you feel so thin?"

He breathes in to reply.

"WOAH! Ibuki sees a casino! He hasn't been in one since his last gig!"

"What the hell were you doing playing in a casino?"

"FUHAHA!...Money, that's why."

The casino is big -- kinda like the hotel. It looks dingy with its green and grays and plastered on the front is cigar-holding Monokuma with his usual grin.

"Let's see here..." Nanami squints. "Oh....'Monokuma Casino.'"

"Doesn't sound too bad, " I mumble.

"...and you just fucked us over," curses Kuzuryuu.

Monokuma clears his throat. "Hey, yo! All you guys get into the casino and relaaaax! That's where the next game takes place! Need I tell you what happens if you DON'T participate?"

Saionji ruffles her hair. "This is so STUPID! I don't want to do this!"

"Boo-hoo! Just kill someone!" Monokuma bears his claws. "Kill someone out of **LOVE** or **JEALOUSY** and I'll let this entire game end! Otherwise we'll keep doing this forever! Geez, what's so wrong with killing other people? Bears don't have to deal with flimsy morals as that -- "

"Alright, we get it!" I shout. I'm tired of this stupid skirt and these dumb bras, but I'm trying to endure it.

"Yes, everyone, let us enter," adds Sonia.

"Hey! What's princess doing talking?" retorts the dancer. "Why are you doing this? You, me, and that creepy guy haven't changed! Why even do this if we don't even need to?"

"Upupupu..." Monkuma giggles.

"Guys..." Nanami mumbles, hiding under his hoodie. "Where's all this anger coming from...?"

"Being gender-flipped is your problem," Saionji says, hiding a smirk. "I'm fine. I hate everyone of you jerks. And you hate me. So why do I need to join these motives?"

"You can always end this with a swing of a knife," adds Monokuma.

I look over to Kuzuryuu, expecting her to get frustrated with her short patience, but she stares at her feet, pale, hands in pockets. "Kuzuryuu...?"

"Saionji," Kuzuryuu begins with an exhausted voice. "We both lost precious people to us on the same day. And I understand it's all my fault. You've gotta realize that Koizumi, your -- your best friend forever is what's gonna drive you to kill someone, you know."

Saionji blanches. "Wh-Wha'?!"

_Same here._

"She's important to you! Monokuma's doing this crap so we'd kill outta love, right?"

"That could explain why Saionji remains unchanged," Komaeda adds. "Her problem wouldn't manifest as easily as a boy. Rather, she'd be more distracted by that fact than Koizumi."

Saionji glares at him. "Shuddup, you wacky haired jerk!"

"Why would Monokuma make you a girl, anyways?" Souda says to Komaeda, eyeing him suspiciously. "How's bein' a girl gonna get you to kill?"

Komaeda smiles. "We really should begin the motive, huh?"

Before anyone can interrupt, Monokuma pipes in with, "Right! Let's begin! All of you guys inside the casino...NOW!"

Reluctantly, we obey.

* * *

 

★

We all sit around a oval-ish table on wooden chairs. The room is lit by a single overhead light and the neon lights of distant games. I see Nanami staring at one of the games disappointedly.

I get him and Tsumiki on my left and Mioda sits to my right.

Monokuma pops out of nowhere holding a deck of cards with his face imprinted on the back (because why wouldn't he?). "Okay! I don't really know if any of you can play poker, so I got Uno."

"Uno!" Mioda claps.

"What is a 'Uno?'" Sonia says.

Monokuma slumps. "Maybe I should've went with Go Fish. Okay! The rules are...

"Every person gets SIX cards. The goal is to get rid of your cards the fastest! However, a... **penalty**...is in place if a person has to get skipped or draw any number of cards -- only by cards, and not when they run out! The last person to get Uno has to get a double penalty!"

"...and this penalty as you so eloquently emphasized it?" Tanaka says.

A huge smile crosses his face. "The penalty is...to strip one piece of clothing!"

"WHAT?!"

"And not just rings! I'm talking about if the clothing covers a large area of body skin!"

I look down at my clothes. A shirt, a tie, a shirt, socks, and shoes...oh sh --

"Ah!" Sonia hangs her head. "A princess cannot play a game such as this!"

Owari, who has the least amount of clothing to remove, shrugs. "Played this before. No big deal."

That does nothing to console her. "It is very much the big deal, Owari-san!"

Souda's eyes sparkle. "I like this game..."

"You have to strip, too!" I say.

"Yeah," she says as if it's obvious, "but so does everyone else!"

"Yadda, yadda!" Monokuma grins. "Let's start our next game: **Strip Poker**!"

* * *

 

★

My hands tremble slightly. I'm hoping nobody skips me or pull cards. Nanami isn't likely to do that, but Mioda...

Souda places down a color-changer card slowly, as if it might detonate. "I choose yellow."

Komaeda sits next to her and smiles. "This is unfortunate." She places down a skip card.

Kuzuryuu glares at her like Komaeda killed her mother. "You motherfucker."

"Strip, strip, striiiip!" Mioda chants.

Kuzuryuu takes off her jacket, muttering curses. Sonia puts down a yellow card, then Tanaka places his down. Saionji places a blue 3 to change the color again.

I look at my cards. Only greens and reds. One green reverse card, one red...draw two card.

"A blue three, hmm..." Mioda flips through his cards and my heart is racing. "Hm-hm-hmm..."

My heart can't take the pressure. "Mioda you have six cards! It doesn't take this long!"

She -- he only gives me a smirk. I feel myself sweating. Don't do it, don't do it...

He places down his card:

a green 3

I release a much-deserved sigh. Then use my reverse because I don't trust her. Mioda makes an indignant cry.

It's relative peace for five turns.

Kuzuryuu slaps down his card. "Beat that, hope spawn."

It's a green skip she must've gotten when she had to pull.

Komaeda smiles and takes off her jacket. "How unlucky!"

Souda also skips Owari; he takes off his shirt and now Tsumiki draws until he places his green card down.

Now Nanami looks through his cards and glances at my cards -- counting them? -- and places his card down --

I can't even scream --

It's a DRAW TWO.

"N-Nanami, why...?" I mumble.

Nanami blinks. "Oh, I forgot you strip if that happens."

"Whaaaa....?" Here I am worrying about Mioda!

Mioda does his strip-chant and I try to find anything to strip. "Monokuma, can't shoes count?!"

"Shoes don't really cover much," he grins.

Thinkthinkthink -- "B-B-But, you know, some people have foot fetishes, so taking off shoes is still just as bad as taking off shirts, yeah...!"

"Your desperation stinks," Saionji grins.

Monokuma shrugs. "Fine, but take off both your socks and shoes."

I obey. I feel completely naked without them on already.

A few more clothes come off -- ties, scarves, belts, chains, bandages -- it's not until after Owari and Tsumiki get Uno does things pick up.

Why?

The remaining nine of us can only take off a shirt or pants to progress (sans Saionji who nobody forces to strip and...she can't even undo her kimono, anyways).

I haven't took anything off in a long while and now Mioda takes full advantage of it with a DRAW FOUR card.

I curse. Mioda cackles.

What's the least revealing...? Considering no one can really see my legs, I...take off my skirt, almost shivering at the cold. I also grab my cards while trying to pull my shirt down.

The boys (or, girls?) laugh sans Komaeda (who looks amused) and Tanaka (who looks uncomfortable).

"You will pay," I state as Nanami places his card down. "Stop smiling."

Mioda starts to reply when Kuzuryuu cusses. "STOP MAKING ME STRIP!"

...Komaeda skips her again.

Kuzuryuu's face is totally red as she takes off her skirt like I did. "Don't LOOK AT ME!"

The lucky girl chuckles. "This is a whole bunch a fun! I wouldn't be surprised if somebody died of embarrassment!"

"Sonia," the gangster says. "Reverse it. Reverse it so I can strip this bastard!"

Sonia (giggling) places a yellow reverse. "Good luck, Kuzuryuu-san!"

She smacks down a skip to Komaeda. "STRIP, motherfucker!"

Komaeda -- without even hesitating -- pulls off her shirt --

"WHAT?!" Souda sputters. "She's wearing a singlet!"

Komaeda wears a green one, so it's almost like she didn't even strip. I wish I was smart enough not to wear a bikini bra...

Kuzuryuu slams her face onto the table.

Nanami eyes my three cards and place do...

"...why did you do that," I state. There is a draw two card.

Nanami blinks again. "Oh, I forgot."

Mioda roars in laughter. Almost everyone laughs because my shirt is the last piece of clothing I'm taking off.

While internally crying, I take off my shirt.

"Wah! Hinata-san, that is a very adorable bikini!" Sonia says.

Tanaka drops his cards and bail. I...don't know of that's a legal move, but nobody stops him.

"It is cute," Nanami (unhelpfully) adds.

"Geez, your rack is so disappointing," Souda says.

"Blue is a very good color on you!" Komaeda (equally unhelpfully) says.

I stare at Mioda. "Reverse it. I dare you." He obeys.

I place down a skip on Nanami. He slowly blinks. "Oh. Guess I strip, too?"

He ends up taking off his pants so I can see his videogame-designed swim shorts.

"UNO!" Souda shouts as she places her second-to-last card.

Komaeda and Kuzuryuu place a normal green card down; Saionji skips Sonia.

"Oh my!" Sonia blinks. "I need to strip as well, right?"

Souda mouth hits the center of the Earth.

All Sonia wears is a dress as her shoes and bow is gone. She notices this fact. "Um, Monokuma-san?"

The bear and Owari had been playing poker. "What?"

"I've lost. I can only take off my dress which breaks the rule of one article of clothing. A dress covers both my upper and lower body."

Monokuma tilts his head. "Yeah, that's true."

"W-W-Wait! My jumpsuit does that, too!" Souda cries.

"I guess you can fold just like Tanaka-kun did," the bear continues.

Sonia smiles. "I am sorry I lost!"

Souda slams his face on the table.

"And then there were seven," Mioda says.

・★・

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's pumped about DR3 AND the anime? Hearing that stuff rekindled my interest in my fics about SDR2!


	4. Strip Poker-Uno P2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a computer now, so I decided to finish up and polish this chapter. Sorry this is kinda late - intense writer's block and Zero Time Dilemma, DR3, plus DRv3 distractions.
> 
> If you got any ideas of any more couple games, hit me up. Otherwise, enjoy:
> 
> Update: 1337 (leet) hits! That...that cracks me up. :P

**The Day Hinata-kun Became Hinata-san!**

comedy/parody ~ teens only

One day, Hinata Hajime wakes up in a girl's body as apart of Monokuma's new motive. Now he faces the bear's hardest motive yet: love! Random story based off a pic: zerochan.net/1504769

    Re: Instead of it being strip poker, it's strip Uno?! It's totally embarrassing for "Hinata-san," but he must make it through Monokuma's second game!

* * *

 

 

 

・★・

 **Chapter 03**  
**Strip Poker P2**

・★・

* * *

 

 

_·····Monokuma Theater·····_

Monokuma: Ya know, this WAS supposed to be strip poker, but these idiots can't even PLAY poker!

Monokuma: That's like saying "People die when they are killed."

Monokuma: So I turned it into Uno. They get six cards, and the person who gets down to one card wins!

Monokuma: But there are some rules....First off, there are four colors - **red, blue, yellow, and green**. There's also five types of wildcards.

Monokuma: You got the semi-common **reverse card** , which reverses the player's order to be one turn opposite. Then you got the **skip card** , which skips the person next to you.

Monokuma: Those cards can be in all colors.

Monokuma: Then there's the rare ones....

Monokuma: They're black cards, so they're all colors at once. After all...black absorbs all colors! I should know, I AM part black.

Monokuma: The first is a " **grab four**." Obviously, you grab four cards. The second is a simple **color change card**.

Monokuma: Well, that's all that's really important. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

_·····Monokuma Theater·····_

* * *

 

 My name is Hinata Hajime, and I am a girl now.

I don't really know how, and remembering how Usami - now Monomi - magically poofed a cow into existence, and that a toy robot has deadly machines guarding the other islands, I'm not going to question it.

Besides, I'm a bit more worried about my friends killing each other more than I'm worried about my gender.

...well, no, I _am_  worried. Because if nobody kills, nobody gets to be their proper gender.

I go in Hope's Peak as a boy, and arrive out as a girl....

The first game was the "Newlywed Game." The second is technically "Strip Poker," but I think it should've been "Strip Go Fish" as it's faster and less humiliating than this.

...speaking of that, Nanami is probably the worst person to be next to. I thought Mioda would be bad, but I was so, so wrong.

There's seven of us: Me, Nanami, Mioda, Souda, Saionji, Kuzuryuu, and Komaeda.

Tsumiki folded shortly after Sonia. That was _really_ weird. Tsumiki is always begging to take her clothes off, but after being partners with Nanami, she hasn't quite been the same. But I'm too embarrassed to ask her - him: "Hey, you haven't been the fanservice girl/boy/other lately. Any problems?"

Kuzuryuu and Komaeda have some sort of rivalry going on. I'm really glad Kuzuryuu isn't trying to commit seppuku anymore, and I'm still not used to her new eyepatch.

I haven't really thought about this, but Komaeda hardly looks any different than normal. I guess he - she has curves - why am I focusing that hard on her figure?!

"Huh? Hinata-san, why are you so red?....Hm, still embarrassed you had to strip?" Nanami sounds so worried, and my face heats up  _big time_.

If I (or anyone) gets skipped or has to draw cards, we strip. So if I get a draw 2 or 4, get skipped, or have to draw cards because I can't play a card (such as have two red cards while the card in play is green), I strip. Not to the point of nudity - thank you - but to my b...bikini.

And Nanami accidentally made me strip more than once.

"You will pay because you got me twice," I repeat just as I promised him before, looking _completely dignified_ in my (stupid) bikini bra.

Souda reverses the game, now down to two cards. He's - She's obviously trying to keep a poker face. (This is the only time he doesn't want Sonia to notice him.) During the brief moment when I was stuck in my head, she had to draw more cards.

Another rule: if you call Uno and don't place down your card, you draw.

She still has on her jumpsuit, so drawing cards only like that doesn't require you to strip.

"Okay, Uno, or whatever," Saionji says with a single card.

"Oi, oi," Mioda says scratching his nose. "Are we gonna make Hiyoko-chan strip like some kinda lolicon?"

"That _is_ what she is," Souda mumbles, probably disappointed Sonia left. "A walking lolicon trope."

" _Excuse me_ , pink-haired, 'plantain' pervert?" Saionji hisses. "Ya know, if I DON'T get Uno, I'm right before you. I'll skip you so many times you have to strip down to your internal organs."

Souda flinches. " _Ay curamba_!"

Kuzuryuu coughs something. Something like "roast master Saionji," but avoids her gaze as they still aren't on good terms yet.

Mioda eyes her cards, and slaps down a red one. I put down a blue one.

Nanami hmms. "This is awkward, but...Uno, I think." She places down her second-to-last card down, a blue -

The yakuza girl grins. "Alright, Nanami's is the _best_!"

\- draw two card.

Komaeda smiles helplessly. "I really wonder if this is good luck or bad luck?" She pulls three cards, and I _just_ realized she was on her last card. This is why you don't space out!

(But it helps in Class Trials!)

Mioda casually scratches his ear. "Ehhh, Ibuki doesn't want to see Nagito-chan strip, ya know...."

Saionji smirks like the devil. "I _dunno_....his pale skin could blind us all~!"

Souda covers her face with her hat, and eventually only I watch as Komaeda pulls off her jeans and....

They're just green and white swim shorts. The only "scandalous" thing about her is her bony knees and thin arms. Though she has no armpit hair - and this is something I shouldn't be noticing...?

"I'm finished," she smiles. "Alright, it's your turn, Kuzuryuu-san. You're the only hope to stop Saionji-san from winning!"

Kuzuryuu frowns. "You're right." She leans over to discreetly read Saionji cards (who makes a point to ignore his existence), then place down her card.

Another blue card. A blue four.

Saionji glances at the card and grins. "Yaaaay! I win! See you suckers later~!" She slaps her own red four, and happily skips away from the table.

"Uh, Fuyuhiko-chan?" Mioda says. "You weren't supposed to let her win?"

Kuzuryuu looks down. "Actually, I did."

"You made her very happy," Nanami says gently.

"Least she's not next to me...." Souda mumbles. "Hey, what's the point of this game?! How's this gonna get us to kill each other?!"

Monokuma is severely losing against Akane, while Tanaka and Sonia watch. Instead of poker chips, the bear pays the gymnast with food.

Soon he turns his attention to us, looking beat. "It's just to create lust! Now DON'T interrupt me! I'm betting all or nothing!" Monokuma turns back to the game. "And by 'all,' I mean all the food in the kitchen."

"WHAT?!" cry both Souda and Mioda.

Since those two are busy despairing, I play for Mioda and slap down a draw two card for Nanami, smirking.

Nanami blinks slowly. Then he takes off his shirt.

I'm expected for him to not wear a shirt because I want to see his abs - not for any other reason, except as comparison for my old body. He actually wears a shirt like Komaeda did, but it's a funny shirt that says: "Swim?" Then there's several pictures of videogame characters dying in pools of water.

"Tch," Kuzuryuu hisses. "Did only me and Hinata try to wear bikinis?! Geez!"

"Ibuki is shirtless! He can't wait to show you guys his abs!"

" _I'm_ wearin' a bikini, too!" Souda says indignantly. He looks at us. "It's pink, too. Neon pink. Fight me."

"Alright, fruit rollup," Kuzuryuu mumbles and places down his card. "Uno."

Souda places his card down. "UNO!"

Mioda places his card down. "Looks like it's all up to Nagito-chan!"

Mioda planted a yellow eight on Souda's blue eight. Because the numbers match up, the color in play now switches. I look at my cards. I got only reds and greens, but one card is the color-change card and the other is a draw four card. I think I'll let the color-change card go down last. Firstly, I put down a draw four card, because those cards also have the ability to change the color in play. "Sorry, Nanami. It's the only card I had. The color is now red."

"Oh. Mmm..." He scans his body for anymore accessories to take off. "I'm already in my swim suit, though. Am I out?"

"I think so?" Kuzuryuu says.

Nanami smiles and bows a little. "Thank you for the game. I learned something new today. Good luck." He folds but still watches the game.

"So, red cards now?" Komaeda smiles. "I wonder what Kuzuryuu-san has?"

Kuzuryuu sits on her card. "S'not like you'll know."

"Hmmm....Well! I'll just have to trust my luck!" She beams as she sets her card down, a red six.

Kuzuryuu stares at it...

picks up her card, and scans them both. She swears.

"That's _bullshit_!" she shouts. "You're the _Ultimate Bullshit_!"

...so that definitely did not help Kuzuryuu. She drops her card on the table. It's a red nine. So close...

"I quit," the Yakuza continues. "I actually prefer playing with the rules of reality, _thank you very much_."

"Welp, _I_  win, suckers!" Souda puts down a blue six. "I didn't even NEED to strip!"

"No one wants to see your body," Kuzuryuu replies bitterly.

Souda opens her jumpsuit anyways, revealing her neon pink swimsuit. It hurts my eyes even.

Nanami turns away. "Ugh. I don't like looking at pink."

Mioda forces a chuckle. "Kazuichi-chan is honest, at least...?"

With that, only Mioda, Komaeda, and I remain in game. If I get another skip or draw card, I'll be out. So will Komaeda. Mioda is a little more safe - he needs to strip his shirt first. I wonder what his abs are like -

 _Hajime, what the hell are you thinking?_ This is one time too many - what's with all these new thoughts and feelings? Why are they suddenly becoming more apparent?

**"It's just to create lust!" the bear shouted.**

No, that can't be. We were all worried about Souda's crush on Sonia leading to our first victim that it didn't occur to us Monokuma would do  _anything_ to make us despair. Screwing with our emotions is childplay - he changed my gender after all.

_For me to lust after Komaeda of all people! One who betrayed my trust and scares me because he's so unpredictable. Is he really taking this genderswap so well? Could his insanity actually cope with this?_

A cold feeling grips my stomach. Watching my classmates bicker over Souda's existence makes everything a bit more clear.

I feel cold without my usual clothes. I feel awkward surrounded by half-dressed people. Most of all, I  _hate_ this stupid motive.

"That's it," I say. "I  _quit_."

"Huh?" Mioda looks at me. "But my cute, wittle Hajime-chan! You still gotta a shot against Ibuki-chan and Nagito-chan! Don't give up so easily!"

"Don't call me that....Anyways, this entire game is messing with us. That bear is trying to screw with our feelings!" I wrap my arms my body self-consciously. "Seeing each other like this....You don't think it'll cause some feelings to grow?!"

I know these guys are naive and jump to conclusions quickly, but they have to be able to see through this facade, right?

I don't get a response. I hear a loud clang and see black and white.

"Woah woah woah, party pooper - ever heard of  _showing not telling?!_ " Monokuma bears his claws at me, shouting. "Ya wanna spoil everything, Hinata- _san,_ cuz the next you're gonna tell me is that you're some kinda SUPER GENIUS, eh?"

Seeing his face rubs me the wrong way. "We don't want to play your game anymore."

"Oh ho, dropping your  _manhood_ has given ya some  _manhood_ , if you know what I mean. But, yeah, after your little speech, I doubt they'll continue playing." Monokuma rips off his gambling-outfit. "Well, there's no winner here, but there's a loser here! And that's cute Hinata-san! So for our next game, Hinata-san will receive a mega disadvantage. What will that be? I wonder....!"

It sounds so giddy.

I continue glaring but my nervous heart betrays me.

"That's...not very fair," Nanami attempts.

"Hinata-san made no winner, so there  _had_ to be a loser. And since I'M the boss, I'm not changing the rules. So on that note...."

He disappears, but a familiar bell rings out and it's him announcing nighttime.

We...couldn't have been in here for that long. No way. There's something not right...

"Geez," sighs Souda. "You screwed up, man."

I scowl at him.

"Whatever disadvantage Monokuma has given Hinata-san, we will not treat you unkindly," Sonia says with a fierce smile.

"Yeah, I don't care," Kuzuryuu agrees-ish.

"But what  _is_ the next game, though?" Mioda says. "Can't be too naughty, right?"

I look at Komaeda...who is already looking at me before she smiles a little, looks away, starts putting on her clothes. That...can't bode well, probably.

I'm pretty nervous about my fate tomorrow, but -

"Whatever happens to me, we  _can't_ let anyone else die!"

* * *

_This picture is not mine. Please support the original author!_


	5. Love Potion P1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Working as "couples," a dreadful disease that MUST be cured has been released: the "Love Disease!" Symptoms include mania and excessive dopamine; affected persons will be consumed by uncontrollable love! Cure them all or fall into the madness that is love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been in the mood to write SDR fics, but, hey, this reached 2000 hits, so why not? I have no idea how people are finding this fic cuz it hasn't been updated in 6(?) months, but here we go. (I don't really remember the old writing style too much...)
> 
> I just want to say...this story wasn't well thought out, it was made for fun. Keep that in mind and enjoy this:

♥・♥・♥・♥  
Chapter 04  
Love Potion P1  
♥・♥・♥・♥

* * *

 

My name is Hinata, first name Hajime. I used to be a boy but now I'm a girl.

God, that sounds like some sort of thing you'd say within an anonymous club. I don't really know how (honestly afraid to ask how), but some monochromatic bear turned me into a girl. And he's tortured us with his new motive: love.

I don't understand how that motive can work. The only real problem is the whole Souda-Sonia-Tanaka dilemma. There's Nanami, Tsumiki, Kuzuryuu, Owari, Saionji, Nidai (if the poor guy is okay), Mioda, and me. (No one else. Nope.) How are we supposed to be affected by love?

Monokuma thinks that by doing "couples games" we'll either love each other or fall into jealousy. With either outcome, someone will die and we all will be freed from being our opposite gender.

I want to be a boy again. I mean, there's no way I could possibly like combing my long, silky hair or wearing skirts that billow in the breeze....There's no way!

On cue, the bear is chirping on the screen our announcements and I'm sick of his voice. I get up and stomp out my room so fast and so out of it, I bump into Mioda who is currently a guy now.

It hurts me way more than it hurts him.

"Sorry, Mioda." I rub my head. "What are you doing out here so early?"

"Ibuki can ask that of Hajime-chan, but Ibuki will answer. All early mornin' looong, Ibuki's been hearing grinding of metal! And not the good kind of metal where you can rock out to it, it's the bad kind. Like, it goes _krrr krrrrr krrrr kuunnnggg!_ and stuff," he so eloquently says.

"You're probably hearing Monokuma's robots moving. There's about two of them left, anyways."

"Noo! Its amplitude isn't as high as the beasts, yo! It's a way smaller thing making that noise! Hajime-chan," - Mioda quits smiling - "Ibuki needs your help. You're the only person Ibuki feels comfortable with."

M-Me? Well, if Mioda looked like a girl...hearing those words come out of a girl would've made my face more red than it is now. "Why me?"

Mioda is back to grinning. "Cuz you're so plain! And yet you put up with all of us, weirdness and all! Hajime-chan isn't a weird person who sees others as weird and avoids being real. You're always real no matter what, which is why Ibuki trusts you the most."

V-Very perceptive, if I'm allowed to say that. But some part of me says: What about Nanami? I wanted to talk to him in the lobby. Nanami isn't likely to be there so early.

Uff. "Okay."

Mioda jumps for joy and starts to drag me away. Before we leave the cabins, Souda comes outside and sees us. "Where you two going this early?"

"Ibuki and Hajime-chan are going on a secret adventure you're not allowed on!" Ibuki sticks his tongue out. "This adventure isn't for men who chase after neat and royal princesses."

"Wha'?! Hey, Miss Sonia is...exactly what you said of her! Are you tryna offend me?!"

It's way too early. I'm in no mood for any fights. "No, Mioda is simply concerned about something. He is a very nice gentleman who was just showing - me - the - way to the - you know."

I try to communicate with my eyebrows. Mioda exhales "ohhhh" and jumps on board with the idea. "Yes, I was talking about showing Hajime-chan how to deal with her P. E. meteoroids, 'kay? Ah B. O.'s, Souda!"

He resumes dragging me. I have no clue what he means, but it's enough to have Souda's face frozen in terror.

 

* * *

 

・♥・

 

Mioda ends dragging me for a long time. We end up on third island inside the hospital. He ends up cowering behind me going, "Here's where the sound's coming from!"

Here? In this hospital that's straight out of a horror movie? Why couldn't it have been the movie theater so we could get some nice popcorn? Or how about the beach house where we could go bathing? Instead we're here.

"How did you even hear this far, Mioda?" I shout a little because I'm not too happy about this.

"Okay, confession time! Ibuki goes to the T. Typhoon to play some some smooth jams at night - there, Ibuki said it! And that's when he heard super scary noises!"

I wouldn't doubt that this place is haunted, especially with our dead friends resting...wherever Monokuma puts them. Should I be thinking of that right now?

"You have to check, Hajime-chan!"

"What? Me? Alone? Why?"

"Because even though you're not a boy in your pants, you're a boy in your heart. And boys always go check out the spooky things!" Mioda smiles despite his fear. "Just call yourself 'Mercury,' and Ibuki will call himself Groovy - like, just like this. Like, Groovy is too afraid to check!"

With him looking up to me like this and calling me "Mercury," I start to feel like a queen. "I'm going to regret this...but okay."

"Like, yaaaay! You're amazing, Mercury-chan!"

Apparently I have some sort of death warrant.

So with no sense of danger one should feel, Mioda stays in the lobby while I go through the lobby doors. Within the silence of the hallway, I can hear something like metal. A low _rrrrrrrng_ sound. It's the noise of gears grinding together, but not able to make enough force to surpass friction. My teeth vibrate with the horrible noise.

The noise, more like a cacophony, comes from the last room in the hallway. Bracing myself by forgetting I could die, I step inside the room. The curtains aren't open, so morning sunlight fails to light up the room. There's probably a light switch within the room, but my fear scares any sense of rationality within me.

On the hospital bed, there's a large lump of mass, half-flesh, half-metal. The noise comes from under the covers, though I can't see what would cause that noise. A robotic yellow eye turns to face me.

"...who...are...you...?"

There's no trace of a human voice, all metal.

"Who are you?!" I retort, trembling.

"...have...we...been...saved?.........thank...you......"

The yellow eyes shuts off and something yanks me from behind, slamming the door shut once I'm outside.

"Hey, hey, hey! Only one person's allowed to give others false hope, and that's this bear!"

I start to grab my head that hit the wall, but since I'm on the ground on my butt, my skirt barely covers anything. I grip the cloth over anything private. "What do you want now?"

Monokuka is pleased with himself. "Because of your escapade with, like, Groovy over there, you missed morning announcements!"

...and I don't really care. He continues anyway.

"I knew you were far away, so I told them and now I'm telling you: I have a new gaaaame!"

I gulp. "It is...?"

"Y'know that game called 'Epidemic?' You play a virus that'll take over the world! ...if you play your cards right. This game is inspired by that game! (It's also Plan B of my motives, right after this one.)"

"How's that supposed to be a couples game?"

"Because you're going to pair up with another person and try your best to avoid the disease for 14 days!"

Okay, I'm starting to panic. I'm supposed to get some kind of penalty this game. I'm terrified the penalty is the disease. "What's the disease...?"

The bear turns red in blush. "Only the most dangerous of them all. It causes wars and feuds. It is known by the most red of red like blood. It's sudden, it's crazy, and it's completely irrational. It's... **love**!"

I blink. "Love?"

"The _love disease_! Side effects include:

"1. An all encompassing adoration of an individual to where the insides turn to mush.

"2. An intense aggressive behavior followed by periods of warmth.

"3. An all encompassing adoration of an individual to where you can murder!

"4. No feelings at all. Because you're an emotionless robot."

So that means...

 _Dandere, tsundere, yandere_ , and _kuudere_ are going to be running around.

"There's - " I stop and restart because my voice is shaking too much. "There's no one affected, right?"

The bear's eye twinkles.

The door opens and Mioda enters, looking at the robot then me. "Did you find the, like, noise, Mercury-chan?"

I nod. "I don't know what's in there, though."

"What's Monokuma doing here? He looks ready to pounce an innocent girl," he continues, stepping closer slowly.

Yeah, I see what he means. Monokuma is still red and I'm in front of him holding my skirt down.

"What's this?" Monokuma says, goading him. "Are you, like, mad I'm so close to Mercury-chan?"

"Knock it off. What're you talking about?" It pointless to rile Mioda up because he's so calm -

"Stay away from Hajime-chan, you pervert!" I jump from the intensity of his voice while he picks me up like a bride and runs out the hospital.

"Mioda?" I mumble. "Are you okay?"

He looks down, stops, and...drops me.

I hit the ground hard. "What the heck?!"

"It's not like Ibuki saved you for any ol' reason. As a former girl to a girl, Ibuki had to save Hajime-chan. So don't get the wrong idea!" He flicks my forehead and frowns.

"Geez. Fine, just don't be mad. You're better happy." I get to my feet and dust off my skirt.

I see his face turning red before he twists his head out of view. "Ibuki is heading back! Either you follow or don't!"

He stomps away. I sigh.

"One more thing, Hinata!"

\- the bear is back.

"The love disease is spread by two ways: reunited love and by kiss," he grins. "If everyone is infected, there will be no voice of reason. It'd be quite possible for a lovesick islander to murder another! Then you can be a boy again!"

"Not gonna happen. No one's killing anymore. And you're not going to convert me."

"We'll see. The infected students were all forcibly exposed to the disease, so them having it implies nothing in particular. Now that I've finished describing the rules, it's time for your punishment! Oh, I haven't forgotten!"

I brace myself. "What is it?"

"Unlike the others, it's your duty to keep one person perfectly safe and not murdering other students! Failure to complete the penalty results in breaking the rules, which means I get to hurt you like I did N-N-N-Nidai!"

I feel sick. "F-Fine..."

"Good. I'm glad you understand me. So, adios!" He vanishes.

 

* * *

 

・♥・

 

I manage to get back at the last few minutes of breakfast. My appetite is gone. I walk up the stairs and say, "Any casualties yet?"

Everyone is still here. Kuzuryuu speaks first. "Mioda told us. We have no confirmed casualties, though Monokuma said the infected people are supposed to act weirder than normal."

"Ain't that rude?" Owari says, a guy now and hardly any different. "He's abusin' and manipulatin' us! And we can't do nothing!"

"Please, we just need patience," Sonia says gently. "Justice always prevails in the end."

"...even so." Nanami, a guy now, buries his head in his jacket, listless. "Playing with one's heart this directly isn't morally right."

"When has that foul beast ever played by societal rules?" Tanaka drones, emotionless. He isn't his usual dramatic self - this challenge may be really affecting him. Too bad I know so little of the guy. "Do not fear. The only affection the great I can feel is for my fellow Devas and no other mortal. I shall remain immune to this challenge."

"Oh?" Sonia says, curious. "Immunity?"

"Even if i-immunity does exist," Tsumiki begins, flustered, "I will do my b-best to care for my patients! It's my honor to!"

Nanami smiles at his determination and Tsumiki, noticing it too, gets even more flustered.

"Hinata, what am I going to do?!" Souda, a girl now, sounds extra whiny. "I love Miss Sonia, but if I get infected, I'll infect her!"

Sonia hears her whining and flushes. "Oh no! That would be terrible! However, we must remain calm and patient. Justice will prevail - "

"Knock it off, would ya?!"

We all shut up and look to Saionji. She stands in front of the memorial she made Koizumi with tears in her eyes.

"The only person I cared about is killed by that stupid yakuza boy! I can't stand seeing you all worried about your dumb crushes! You all hate me and I hate you! So, yeah, aren't I immune?! Immune to the stupidest disease ever!" She darts off, fast.

I call her name and start to go after her, but someone grabs my wrist, a girl. I follow the hand to the arm and person. Komaeda stares me down with...almost empty eyes. "Give her some time to cool down. She won't be rational while she's angry."

"How would you know? She might hurt herself," I argue.

"I don't know if she's confident enough to do that. It takes a lot of courage...or a lot of pain." She hardens her gaze. "I believe she'll be okay, Hinata."

I'm almost about to say: "What's a psychopath know about emotions people feel?" Then I realize the answer: everything. It's hard to understand emotions when you feel them, because every emotion affects people differently. But without feeling emotions, the psychopath must observe the emotions of others.

I tug my arm away. "Fine. But if I see so much as a scrape wound on her tomorrow, you're dead."

She smiles. "Ah, you can't kill me. That wouldn't bode well for either of us."

I entertain her. "Why not?"

"Because you're supposed to keep me safe, Hinata!"

Komaeda laughs while I slowly, slowly scream within my head.

Well played. Well. Played.

Force me to take care of the suicidal martyr.

He already looks kinda sick, too. Another point for weakened immune system.

I hope that nobody, no one could love this boy and infect him with the disease.

I don't know how wrong I'd be.

 

♥・♥・♥・♥・♥・♥・♥


	6. Love Potion P2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is reaching its second anniversary, so more chapters. Enjoy:

♥・♥・♥・♥  
Chapter 05  
Love Potion P2  
♥・♥・♥・♥

* * *

 

My name is Hinata, first name Hajime. I used to be a boy but now I'm a girl.

Komaeda Nagito, first name Nagito, also used to be a boy, but now he's a girl like me.

I'm supposed to take care of her. How am I supposed to do that when she selectively listens to me?

To make dead sure Komaeda wouldn't do something reckless or manipulate others into killing, I go down to the store that has everything, buy the _thing_ , and hide it behind my back until I get close enough to use it.

_Snap, snap._

"Wah! Hinata, what is this for?"

"So you don't do anything crazy. You're not leaving my side." I've already hidden the key in my kneesock. I can feel the metal pressed against the arc of my foot. I have trapped Komaeda with handcuffs.

"You know," she says seriously, "these handcuffs are adorable. There's something amazing about leopard print, Hinata."

"I don't really care about that."

"But it's important. If you ever get into a situation, this is a great pattern to use. Typically brown and tan give a naturalistic feel, but white and black gives off an exotic feel."

"Why are you talking about this?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm trying to help you!" She beams.

"With what, bondage?! That's irrelevant to this situation!"

"Are you not into that kind of stuff?"

What?! Me?! How could I do that?! I mean, those kind of relationships are based off of trust and respecting the boundaries of their partners, to love and adore each other once everything's okay, b-but, really...

"It's okay, Hinata," Komaeda says softly. "We all have secrets."

"Shut up. Don't talk to me. Pretend to be a piece of toilet paper on my shoe."

"If you mean being embarrassing trash, I'm already fulfilling my quota."

"You idiot!" I grab a fist full of his jacket. "You're purposefully provoking me!"

"Am I? You seem so tensed, I just wanted you to laugh."

Laugh? How could I laugh in this situation? The girl side of me feels like crying in frustration. "I haven't slept properly in weeks. It's a miracle there aren't bags under my eyes."

"Hinata, maybe you should sleep. I'll watch over you and keep you safe."

"Like you're a beacon of safety..."

"I'm serious. How about this? If you're sleep deprived, we won't last long when the apocalypse comes."

"Apocalypse?" I say sarcastically.

"Yes. If watching all those zombies movies taught me anything it's that everything is going to become really, really, really bad before hope comes and makes everything better. We must prepare for the future!"

I groan. "Just...let me sleep. It's the only break I'm getting from you."

Since I sure as heck don't want her in my cabin to possibly mess things up, she takes me to her room. Surprisingly, it's really neat. The bookshelf makes the room look sophisticated and educated. But...that's a whole side of her I don't want to explore. She lets me get in her bed and rest.

I close my eyes, faintly hearing sounds of the ocean. An uncomfortable feeling arises. I open my eyes to see her bright eyes staring at me. "Stop that."

"Your face is so peaceful, like the first day when you passed out," she smiles.

I roll over and shut my eyes again.

Maybe it's because it's still bright out, because I have a pleasant dream. It's absolutely nothing. I'm so exhausted, so wiped out, my brain has nothing to dream about. Which is fine by me.

I almost wake up a few times. By the power of exhaustion, I continue resting.

Finally my body decides to wake up when it's dark outside. Judging the moon, it's near dawn of the next day. My growling stomach is probably why I woke up. I feel so much better now. I feel like I can seize the day.

Where'd she go? She's not on the edge of the bed anymore, yet the key is still in my sock and my cuff is still on.

Actually, this bed is really hot. I hope I'm not getting sick, or worse: the love disease.

I start to panic and try to ease off Komaeda's white pillows. The one I'm lying on is exceptionally soft compared to the others. The chain is stuck because something is pulling it tight. Becoming more awake, I can feel the chains pressing into my skin.

I'm tangled in the handcuffs. Komaeda didn't do this, did she?

" _Mmmm, mmmm, mm, mmmm!_ "

That came from underneath me. The voice is muffled and - why is it underneath me?!

I force myself self up and get a good grasp of what's going on.

Komaeda, purple in the face, gasps for hair. "I thought - I was - a goner!"

We're both wrapped in the chains. I pull them off of us. Komaeda is breathing properly, breathlessly laughing about almost breaking a rib, and I, in a fit of sudden rage, push her off the bed.

"Hinata! Why did you do that?"

"Why were you and I - this bed?!" I say, articulate.

"The chains got tangled. I was going to pull them off then I got stuck, too! It was okay at first, until you rolled on top of me and the chain tightened around my chest..."

"Even you ruin sleeping!"

"I'm sorry. Is it okay for you to follow me to the bathroom, though? I haven't used it since this morning."

These handcuffs are a bad idea.

 

・♥・

* * *

 

 

Komaeda barely sleeps when announcements come on and I rush to eat food, dragging her along. In the silence of the mess hall, I tell Komaeda, "I need another option of keeping you safe."

"You could stuff me in a garbage bag," she says, watching me eat. "Poke a hole so that I can breathe."

"No. I am not doing that."

Her comment barely bothers me. I must be getting used to them. Spooky.

"I can't trust you enough to leave you free and able either. What's the best way of watching a person?"

"An apocalypse-proof shelter. Chain me to a wall and you can lock the door to keep me in."

I pause. "Why are you so eager to get yourself locked up?"

"Isn't that what you want me to do, Hinata?" she murmurs, playing with the fruit on her plate.

...it has to be apart of her plan. No locking her up.

I guess surveillance could work in keeping her in check. I couldn't tell her because she might turn off the cameras to do bad stuff.

"I have an outlandish idea," Komaeda says. "Can you trust me - "

"No."

"Hinata, I'd like you to - "

"No."

She narrows her eyes. "It's no use - "

"No."

" - locking me up. Not with my luck. I promise I won't do anything that you don't like."

"How can I trust you?"

"I want to be a part of this trial we'll face together. I, too, dislike being a girl very much, but I will not kill anyone."

I don't like allowing her to roam around free, so I'll still use cameras to watch her. For now, I'm going to let her win. "You better keep your promise."

She laughs. "How do you feel about visiting Saionji?"

"After the meeting. We need to know what's happening."

"I'll remain here and you go. Depression isn't a very patient thing."

(She totally planned for this - she did, she did.)

"Alright." I'll just ask anyone but her for details.

Saionji isn't in her cabin. I knock and knock, then I peek in the windows and see her empty bed. Isn't it against the rules to sleep anywhere else beside our rooms? So she hasn't slept all night? Oh man.

I search the islands for a little blonde girl in an orange kimono. It's harder than expected - there's so many places to search. I was really expecting her to be in the place Koizumi died at, but no.

I catch a break when I hear soft sobs. I follow the sound, arriving at the motel. I knock on the door. "Saionji? You in there? It's me, Hinata."

She sniffs. "Why're you here? Wanna mock me some more?"

"No. I don't hate you. You can be annoying and a bit of a handful," I admit so that she knows how I really feel, "but that's no reason to consider you less as a human."

Silence.

"I'm being honest. Nobody deserves to die like this. Not Koizumi, or Pekoyama. I know you hate her, but Pekoyama is a victim as much as Koizumi - "

The door is swung open. "Oh, Hinata, you're such a little baby!" she mocks. "If I can boss you around like this, you're just a dumb servant!"

So she says, but her eyes are red and there's a tiredness in her appearance.

"So what? I'm your servant now?"

"Yup! And to be my servant, I want my gummies! But take out the ones I hate. Failure to do so will end in very, very bad things, Hinata," she threatens darkly.

I'm just glad she's still alive and mostly okay. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. Coming right up."

"Really?" Saionji looks puzzled. "Why are you helping me? D'you think I'm _weak_?"

"Not really. It's because we're friends - or we we're supposed to be," I stammer. "Why shouldn't we be friends?"

Heck, why aren't we friends teaming up against Monokuma?

She hmphs. "Go get my gummies, you pathetic servant."

I shrug. "Sure."

When I return with her gummies (minus all the gross ones), it's the happiest I've ever seen her.

Later that day, I run into Souda.

"You missed the meeting to talk to Saionji?" she says. "Man, that's dedication."

"You should go make amends with her. She's not as bad as you think."

"Yeah, well, you missed Tsumiki tripping and flashing all of us. Not gonna lie, I kind of like her girl trips much better."

"Souda."

"Oh, we've got one confirmed casuality: Mioda."

My jaw drops and Souda takes me where he is. Everyone is in the hospital again, minus that creepy noise, all in the lobby, fussing.

"What's going on here?" I pant, walking in.

"Mioda has been infected by the disease," Nanami reports, gripping his jacket in worry.

"How'd you tell? He was fine when I saw him yesterday."

"Are you sure about that?" Kuzuryuu says. "We really do think Mioda has the tsundere version of the virus. I had my suspicions when he gave Souda a song called '999 Reasons I Hate You.'"

"...that doesn't sound fishy to me."

"Hinata, it was just him stating angrily reasons he likes Souda."

Oooh, yeah, that's a huge clue. "What's next?"

Tanaka drones in, "Pray to the dark lord that Mioda is not the type of tsundere-ish yandere." We're all puzzled. "Not all yandere are sweet humans who fall for their counterpart. Some are vicious people with vicious murder habits."

Souda grips her hat and groans. "This isn't good! What if we all become yandere when infected? Oh God, what if I killed Miss Sonia?!!"

Sonia pales in fear. "Dear Heavens, no!"

"N-N-Not to worry!" Tsumiki shouts because we all are. "I have given Mioda the best piece of s-security I could think of!"

"What is it, Tsumiki?" Owari shouts, mainly from excitement.

"I-I-I wrapped his mouth in several layers of duct tape t-to prevent him from kissing people and for him to court his love," he says with a smile.

"Tsumiki," I call, rubbing the wrinkles my furrowed brows make, "are you a yandere?"

"Inaccurate," Tanaka scolds, "he is a _yangire_. Very different."

This is the first I've heard that term. Whatever the heck _yangire_ means, I hope it doesn't entitle killing.

"Did Monokuma infect more of us?" Nanami wonders.

"Hell yeah he did. That bear's crazy!" Kuzuryuu balls her hands in fists. "I doubt a person knows they're infected, too, until it's too late!" Suddenly, there's a wild intensity in her eyes. "We need to hold a test, to separate the infected from the survivors. Everyone, get your crush, write it down, and we'll do a test to see if you freak the hell out when we mess with them!"

"Hey, hey, that's way too much!" Souda complains.

"Effective," Tanaka mumbles.

"Let's try a different way..." I hear Nanami say.

"Lemme help! I don't want this disease tearin' us apart!" Owari shouts, cracking his knuckles.

"I-I have some ideas, so I can be helpful," Tsumiki adds.

"This all seems somewhat inhumane, Kuzuryuu," chides Sonia.

Then their voices all blur together into one, indecipherable mess. One that is worse than the sound from yesterday. My ears start to burn, my pulse picks up, and I'm wondering briefly: _Why am I so riled up?_

I think...it's all the stress.

It must be getting to me.

I can't stop love!

It's a stupid thing, for sure.

It's also an amazing thing. Love can change people. Love is the reason we're not in the stone age.

But it's also the reason why people have died in the past. It's one of the reasons why world peace can't exist.

And now it's made into disease with a 25% chance of catching _type yandere_ and going bonkers.

My blood is boiling.

I breathe in, ready to holler.

Someone covers my ears just enough to where the shouting voices are muffled, yet can be heard. That person is the infamous Komaeda. She stares down at me, blocking my view of everyone else.

"What is this?" I grumble. "Let go."

"Not until you calm down. I don't want to see you angry, Hinata."

Can I really help it when I'm stuck with her? "Says the one who betrayed our friendship."

"I did it so that I could become the stepping stone for hope. All I want is for all of you is to become the best Ultimate you can be."

"How the hell is murdering people going to help us?" I feel like hurting her badly.

"Because it's happened to me, several times."

"What?"

She laughs, devoid of humor. "It's because of the deaths of others that I'm an Ultimate today! It's unfortunate my talent is so useless, so instead of complaining, I'll make your talents shine even brighter! And even if I don't know your talent, Hinata, I will do everything possible to make you remember it!"

Her eyes are both mad yet vast. Can she really see me right now? And what's she talking about - "deaths of others?" What kind of life has she been living? I thought she was lucky, for crying out loud!

This...can't be something made up, can it? Maybe she's the one who murdered people, and...

"...what," I ask again, absentmindedly.

"I really am grateful that you are the only person who wishes to grow closer to me, though I apologize about the last trial for influencing the events of the Twilight Murder Mystery," she continues, much more sane than before. "Now you're really mad at me. I don't really like that."

I twist away from her grip. "I swear, if you're lying to me, Komaeda, I'll..."

Never trust her again? Well, I can't. Be it my conscience or Komaeda's mystery, I can't just leave her alone.

She sees that, she obviously sees that and says, "I have no reason to lie to you, Hinata."

By the time our conversation ends, the argument ends. Majority rule: we're to write our crushes on a sheet of paper and Kuzuryuu with Owari are going to test us. Infected remain in the hospital under Tsumiki's care.

I lock myself in the bathroom and Komaeda sits a stall away. I have a pen in hand and a piece of paper in the other.

My crush...

It's as simple as writing down Nanami's name.

I still remember his girl form, a wonderfully ditzy girl who really woke up when it came to playing games. A big heart with a small voice. Yet when the ink hits white, I hesitate.

Why am I hesitating? There's no reason for me to.

"Ready to go, Hinata?"

She didn't hesitate. So why me?

I roll my eyes and write Nanami's name. I fold it up and say, "Yup. Let's go do this, I guess."

 

・♥・

* * *

 

 

Kuzuryuu and Owari both admit they have no crushes, so they will be the "hosts" of our trials. Komaeda has the audacity to mumble that their crushes she assumed are not around anymore. At night, we all head to the beach, light a fire, and we all sit on logs in front of the fire while our "hosts" stand behind the fire. Crazy enough, Saionji is here, too.

"Right," Kuzuryuu mutters. "This island has seen better days. Tonight, we're facing a severe outbreak of the love disease and, when morning comes, only have 12 days left to deal with it. With that in mind, winning this game is as easy as locking away the infected."

"Which sounds a bit cruel," Sonia says, melancholy.

"Cruel, but effective. You don't want banana boy murdering you, huh?"

Sonia sighs.

"Hey!" Souda snaps. "It's banana girl to you! Wait - "

"I have received everyone's crushes on paper," Kuzuryuu says loudly. "And let me say that judging these notes, we are so fu - "

"Language!" Saionji yells.

" - so Friday'd?" she ends awkwardly

"You're scared?" I say. "C'mon, you're worrying me..."

"Hinata, ever heard a thing about love triangles?" the yakuza girl tells me. "Well, this is a fruity love _dodecahedron_. We're screwed if a person gets the disease because they can infect more than one person!"

Something even worse than Sonia-Tanaka-Souda? Oh boy...

"Like, I'm wondering if we should just incarcerate the person leading the dodecahedron," she continues.

"There must be a way," Nanami says. "We can do this."

Owari whoops. "That's the spirit! We can do this, no matter what!"

"Yeah! Whoo-hoo!" Our cheering stops when Monokuma enters the scene. "What're we talking about?"

"Wha'cha want now? New freaking rules?!" Owari yells. I worried he might attack the bear again.

"Nope. Good news."

"Good news?" Souda repeats. "Must be really bad news for us."

"Not really? Anyway, I've been working super, duper hard and I've done it! Lil ol' me has brought back the big kahuna!"

It's only then do we all notice the massive wall of metal behind him, in the darkness. It steps into the campfire light and Owari gasps.

"Yo, yo, yo, guys!" Nidai Nekomaru greets, more metal and electricity than humanly possible. "I've returned from the dead, a cyborg now! Or is it an android?! Nevermind! I understand this bear's motive, so please excuse the change."

My jaw drops. I blink. I blink and lean closer.

"Awesome!" Owari grins. "You're metal-Nidai! You're - you're Mechamaru!"

Mechamaru (if we're going with this) laughs haughtily. "I like that name! Let me reintroduce myself. The name's  **NIDAI MECHAMARU!!** "

"Woah, woah!" Souda seems more spooked than me. "Dude, you're a girl!"

A girl with a massive, robotic chest - bigger than Owari - as well as an intense pair of muscles. His...her hair is cut in a metal bob and her eyes glow yellow. Mechamaru still stands taller than any of us. She laughs and laughs. Monokuma, leaves, job done for him.

I say a real bad word. Saionji slaps my arm and declare her servants cannot say a foul word...disregarding the fact she's done so, too.

What am I supposed to do now?!

Diseases, love triangles, and robots - this is too much!

I wish I could pass out and pretend this is a dream, but because I've been around this insanity for so long, my body keeps functioning.

We're so _screwed_.


	7. Love Potion P3

AN - Fun fact: Komaeda's anxiety is brought to you by Island Free Time Events (or if Monokuma never showed up).

Also, had me some eye surgery. Guess it: retinal detachment.

♥・♥・♥・♥  
Chapter 06  
Love Potion P3  
♥・♥・♥・♥

 

* * *

 

 

The shock of Mechamaru's reappearance virtually disappears the next morning. After his (or...hers, now?) condition before, taking the brunt of a blast from Monokuma and left barely breathing, I thought Owari might have survivor's guilt, or I couldn't look at Nidai's metal body without hurting.

But, no, a few minutes before the announcements, I hear loud and clear: "RISE AND SHINE, STUDENTS! NO TIME FOR SLEEPING DURING AN EPIDEMIC!" Such a cheerful, well-intentioned voice...shocks me so badly, I fall out of the bed. As I'm rubbing my aches, I suddenly think of Mioda.

Tsumiki taped up his face, so has he even eaten anything? Quickly, I race out my room and to Komaeda's door, knocking louder than necessary. She peeks her head through the crack when my knuckles start to hurt, looking energetic. "Hinata! Oh, you seem pale? Are you getting sick?"

"Have we even fed Mioda?" I say urgently.

"Oh, it's alright! I've already done it. I know it's not my place to do so, but as one kidnapee victim to another, we have to stick together, right?" She laughs and I feel my anxiety replaced with annoyance.

"Good morning, Hinata and Komaeda! Nice to see you two up and going this early!" Mechamaru approaches us, metal feet making artificial noises. She's absolutely radiant and ready to face the day.

Komaeda and I say good morning at the same time.

"What was that?!" she roars, startling me. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! GOOOOD MOOOORNING!"

I shout good morning back. My throat hurts.

"Fantastic! You're a lot better since the last time, Hinata!" Then she laughs which sounds loud and booming. It shakes my body. "It's a shame you're a girl now. You won't be motivated at all to train your muscles! I can hear you now: 'I'll get my boy body back eventually, so why train this girl body?!'"

I rub my bare arms. "Yeah. What about you? Confident in getting your old body back?"

"My human body? Of course! Robots don't exist in real life. Somehow the bear managed to transport my consciousness to this metal suit. But it'll be returned eventually. That's what I believe! So it's alright to use this girl robot body, yanno?"

"What if..." I murmur, "what if your old body is damaged beyond repair?"

"Even if my body is broken, it's okay." Her voice is soft for a change. "If I can still coach, I'll be fine."

"Well said, Nidai Mechamaru - or is it only Mechamaru now?" Komaeda adds. "Your diligence and positivity inspires awe and hope among us all."

"Hey!" Her voice is critical. "I'm no fan to liars, manipulators, and cheaters. Listen here, Komaeda Nagito, I won't tolerate your nonsense! I'll punch you so hard, you won't be able to SHIT for a WEEK!"

Komaeda still beams, face pale, and she says, "Well, I won't be doing anything this round. After all, Hinata here has to make sure I remain safe or else we're both punished."

"Oh? That so? Then, HINATA!"

I jump. "Yes?"

"You keep this lucky little idiot IN CHECK! Got it?!"

"Definitely!"

"Great! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some breakfast! Surely this body can eat something!" And she stomps away with a bounce in her step.

I catch my breath. "Even though her voice is louder than before, I still miss it."

"Yes...well, what's on our agenda today? We have 12 days left and only one quarantined infected. Should we tell Mioda the good news?"

For my agenda, I really want to find some way of keeping an eye on Komaeda. Most of me believes she'll behave herself, but I really don't want to see more dead bodies or the horrifyingly humiliating deaths of murderers. I'm beginning to sleep moderately okay.

I also want to be near the others, to make sure they won't try anything. But with Komaeda at my side, I won't be able to spy on people. I doubt Komaeda is good at spying and being quiet when she has to. That girl can reply to a yes or no answer with a paragraph.

In fact..."Komaeda, yes or no. Do you like sunny days forever?" I blurt, referring to the never changing weather.

"I do like sunny days. But it's terrible for my skin. What if I get sunburn and catch skin cancer? Or what if as I pull out my parasol to shield from the sun's rays, I poke out someone's eye? Although, a variation of this can happen while it's raining..."

Another thing for my agenda could be finding out the secret of this island. Where are we? Why does Monokuma exist? Where the heck is Monomi?

Oh, wait a minute...I can get Komaeda off my hands so that I can do the things I want to do solo! I tell Komaeda to find Monomi to see if we can unlock more islands and answers, and she agrees without argument. Then I leave, too, aiming to eat breakfast later.

I end up at the store, searching for cameras. I only find different kinds of audio-recording software. Unable to find an alternative, I read the box. The tiny microphone is no bigger than my little finger's nail. It's solar powered and keeps charging via the electricity a body generates. It's also pure black and innocuous looking.

It'll have to do.

I grab three boxes.

Upon leaving the store, I run into Nanami, panting, arms wrapped around his stomach as he breathes heavily. I'm at his side, trying to help him get air. As I pat his back, he says with worried eyes, "Hinata...am I infected?"

My breath hitches as my knees feel a little weak. "Infected? Don't say that. How could you be infected?"

He puffs out his cheeks. "Kuzuryuu said after breakfast that there are multiple people who are in love with me. He said one of them is Tsumiki. He said I should worry due to Tsumiki caring for Mioda."

Man. Tanaka called him a "yangire." I don't understand what it means, but it shares the same word "yandere" has. That means the disease could possibly infect Nanami, and then to myself. If I'm no longer capable of saving the others...someone will die.

"Monokuma told us the virus is transmitted through kiss or requited love," Nanami continues. "I like Tsumiki just as much as everyone else. But I don't want to be infected and possibly...hurt someone. What should I do?"

Jealousy almost has me say avoid Tsumiki at all costs. I need to be helpful and not irrationally stupid - this is a delicate situation. So I say, "I think you should trust that Tsumiki would never want to hurt you if he loves you. I don't want you to doubt or hate others, because that sort of negativity leaves you all alone. If you're really scared, ask for my help."

When Nanami breaks into a slow smile, I feel a heavy weight growing lighter. "Right. Thank you, Hinata."

"You're - "

"And, cut! That's a wrap!"

From out the bushes, Kuzuryuu emerges. She dusts off leaves and branches with a disgusted look. Thankfully Nanami looks just as puzzled as I do.

"Kuzuryuu, what is this?" I say.

"What the hell else, man?" she replies. "You two passed the test to see if you're f'ing insane or not. Congratulations."

"A moment," Nanami asks. "Did you lie about Tsumiki?"

"No, that's no lie. I thought it'd be a perfect way to test you. But, uh, we really should make sure Tsumiki isn't infected. She's a nurse, but she's not infallible."

So her plan isn't as mean as I thought it was. She didn't lie to Nanami.

"I got a question: what're you doing at the store, Hinata?"

I show her my goods. "For Komaeda."

"Huh, impressive," she nods. "That's a whole lot, though."

"Komaeda is a tricky case. I...want to trust him, but there's always that uncertainty. That's why I have to do this," I say firmly.

"If you don't trust him, Hinata," Nanami tells me, "you'll hurt his feelings."

Oooh. Touche. "He hurt me first. This isn't like Tsumiki."

"Oh come on," scoffs Kuzuryuu, "they're both freaks - putting it lightly. Don't lie."

"Ignoring that. If I don't give it my all to keep Komaeda under control..." I trail off, unable to finish.

The yakuza girl huffs and scratches her eyepatch. "Do what you gotta do to control him. I don't want no more incidents happening. If Komaeda comes down with love, we're finished."

"Yeah," I sigh. Nanami slumps. "Hey, Kuzuryuu, you mean the love disease?"

"I shortened it. Why?"

"Oh, nevermind. I thought you meant like 'crush.'"

"No, Hinata."

Actually, our conversation doesn't flow right. I feel like our meanings were off somehow. Well, it doesn't matter.

 

* * *

 

・♥・

 

"The results of my search were inconclusive," Komaeda tells me at dinner. "I could not find Monomi. Apparently she has a house, but it's located on the fourth island. That island still has a beast before it. We'll have to defeat it."

"How the heck could a bunny defeat a robot?" I groan. "That's like Nanami going against a Gundam."

"Tanaka isn't that ferocious, Hinata."

"What?"

"Excuse me, I have an alternative idea. What if we use Mechamaru's new robotic suit to conquer the beast?"

"Um, won't that be breaking the rules? Plus, you think Mechamaru's body can handle that?"

"It doesn't have to be her body, it's her spirit." I stare at Komaeda. "First and foremost: Mechamaru has amazing enthusiasm. She's selfless and energetic. She would not back down from a threat easily. No, she would keep going in the face of adversity. Unlike you Ultimates, Mechamaru's determination is enviable!"

"Hey! We don't want more murders!"

"I-I didn't mean that! Hinata, you have your own determination that shines bright within you. It is a quiet determination. Mechamaru, however, is like a Christmas tree during the Fourth of July. It's not comparable, you see?"

"No. I don't." I check out the rules. "We can't destroy property - Monokuma will likely call the Monobeasts 'property.' And there's no excess violence. Wait, then what about the murders?! Isn't that against the rules?!"

"Did someone say 'rule violation?!'"

No one is shocked when Monokuma appears suddenly. I know I'm not. "Usami's rules forbids excessive violence. Murders count as excessive violence."

"True...BUT, Monokuma is enforcing the rules! Usami is irrelevant!"

"You still operate under those rules as a teacher, _Monokuma-sensei_."

"Actually," sighs the lucky student, "one could say the 'punishments' Monokuma delivers are punishments to the rule violation."

"Yup, yup!" agrees the bear while I stare at Komaeda hatefully.

"However. The same can be said of the teacher, using excessive violence to correct the violation of excessive violence, thus creating a cycle. In that scenario, Monokuma-sensei should be punished."

I smile.

The bear quivers. "W-W-W-Well...that's...I'm YOUR teacher! I make rules. I can break 'em if I want to! 'Sides, the first execution wasn't even THAT violent. I just made Hanamura Teruteru into handsome Teru-yaki chicken."

"The second one was violent. You injured two students. And about being above rules, it's a totally hypocritical thing to say. Since, you know, you prefer justice in Class Trials. Trials are all about fairness. Rules only apply so long as you remain unaffected, huh?"

"Y-Y-Y-You...!" Monokuma is bright red. He shakes violently. A loud whirring noise increases in intensity. "Error" gets repeated over and over again.

"Great job, Komaeda!" I shout, hands on ears, just to blame someone.

He remains nonchalant. "I find this similar to giving a computer a paradox."

"HINATA, KOMAEDA, WATCH OOOUUUTTT!"

The machine gets launched into the air high above me where it explodes. The boom makes me stagger. My head buzzes.

Is he...dead?

Who am I kidding? He's not.

"That was close. Thanks to my enhanced senses, I could save you guys without much problem."

Komaeda and I look to the voice in unison.

Nidai Mechamaru stands confident, yellow eyes glittering.

"Thanks," I breathe.

"Yes, thank you, Mechmaru. Monokuma would have violated the no littering rule! And perhaps excessive violence. Bombs are terroristic fuel."

"No problemo, amigos. I'm dying to try this metal heaven on some more crap!" Mechamaru flexes.

Komaeda and I trade a glance. I say, "How do you feel about fighting another robot?"


	8. Love Potion P4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some melodrama and a card game.

**AN: Okay, we all know this theme is a parody off CH03, right? Gooood.**

  
♥・♥・♥・♥  
Chapter 07  
Love Potion P4  
♥・♥・♥・♥

* * *

 

"Me versus a Monobeast," Mechamaru says while judging the two options. "It sounds... doable, but not now. Komaeda just blew up Monokuma, so he won't be in a good mood. Makes me worried if Monokuma blasts me again, Owari might take the hit this time."

"When will the time be good?" Komaeda says, strictly businesslike. "You're free for the next 11 days."

"It depends on if Monokuma gets in a good mood."

"That's only if someone dies," I say.

"That bear ain't tough to figure out. There are ways to get on his good side."

"Such as?"

"What else?" says the Ultimate Coach. "The suffering of us. Our best option is to do something that'll make us _suffer_ , not _murder_." She furrows her robotic brows before exhaling (even though it's no longer necessary for her to breathe). "Can't think of nothing."

Just then, Komaeda snaps her fingers. "I've got it. A game that thrives on the suffering of others without causing direct misery: a simple card game. I believe it was translated as...' _Cards Against Humanity_.'"

"What's that?" I say.

"I know little of it, but I think the gist is: you're supposed to create most offensive response to the given prompt. Cards are based upon highly offensive and crude things. It's a game based upon gallows humor."

Mechamaru looks disapproving. "Hardly sounds fun. Even to me."

"But," I interject, "it could work. If we can rescue Monomi, we could be one step closer to getting off this island."

With that, I set Komaeda in charge of telling Monokuma the game, Mechamaru in charge of training to defeat the Monobeast, and I take the time to add surveillance to Komaeda's cabin and clothes. I doubt I'll use them, maybe only if she starts to act up.

Long after the nighttime announcements go off, I sit in front of the beach, watching the smooth surface under the full moon. It's like glass. Only when I touch it, it sends ripples that disrupt the surface.

I'm tired.

Day 12 comes to a close. 11 more days remain of the love disease, a disease that causes such irrationality that my friends could murder one another.

"Oh, good evening, Hinata. You cannot sleep as well?"

Sonia sits on the chair beside me, regal as ever. I pull at my plain brown hair and look at her long, golden locks that shine.

"Yeah," I mutter.

"I worry. I worry about poor Mioda....and Tsumiki who has to look after him. Souda also refuses to leave her cabin so long as Mioda finds her the target of his affections," she adds with a nervous smile. "Plus, Souda is terrified she will hurt me under the disease. Her worry makes my heart uncertain."

The pause stretches over half a minute before I realize Sonia is done speaking. "What do you mean by that?"

The princess places both hands over her heart and shuts her eyes. Pearl-white skin glows under the moonlight. "I was quite infatuated by a boy that was not Souda - even when she was a he. The boy understood the things I enjoyed, not the façade Souda fervently believes in. However, lately, Souda tries in her own way to protect me. Not because of my fragility, but of _her_ fragility.

"She knows for certain that she is capable of dastardly and cowardly things and believes she could never live knowing she hurt me. Because of this conclusion, my heart becomes confused."

Oh no.

"Y-Y-You have to be careful," I stammer. "If one of you gets infected, you'll spread it to the other through requited love. Sonia - "

"I understand that the rule...has exceptions. I suppose it would not do Monokuma any good if we expect uniformity."

"What...are you talking about?"

Do I really want confirmation? Reluctantly, I _do_.

"Oh, I have known the exception since his announcement. You should know that I take great pride in my appearance, so this...irregularity would not go unnoticed. I was able to act within reason, Hinata."

"Sonia..."

"How was it Tanaka phrased it? I believe it was...'himedere,' a portmanteau of 'princess' and 'lovey-dovey."

...the world through the pool's eyes seems frozen. I can't move or speak.

"I knew immediately that I had it because I had an obsessive urge to show out around my crush. And I knew I infected him, too, with a 'kuudere' version. However, he seems to be getting better while I constantly fight the himedere urge as well as contemplate my feelings regarding Souda, who has not been infected."

She smiles. It's empty. Sure they makes her flawless face look beautiful, but I feel nothing from her curved lips under silver light.

"Are you surprised, Hinata? You are silent."

I gulp. "I...don't know what to do. I'm surprised you're okay."

"Oh, I have been through worse scenarios. I have not felt an intense urge to kill yet, anyways," she says brightly.

I put my head in my hands, trying to breathe. We're so screwed. Sonia, of all people. I'm actually somewhat afraid Monokuma infected Nanami just to screw with her and the people who love her - him.

"Hinata, the moon is beautiful, is it not?" The princess giggles. "I apologize, those words were not meant for you. As I was studying Japanese, there was a phrase that translated 'I love you' into ' _the moon is beautiful, is it not_?' For years, I have wondered why the vast translation difference. Apparently, it was incorrect to assume it was a pun of ' _tsuki_ ' - moon and ' _suki_ ' - to like or love. Do you know what it means?"

"It means..." I begin, humoring her, "words are useless. Only emotional words or actions can convey such a concept as love. Even we humans don't understand it. Doubt we ever will."

"Hm. I cannot tell whether you are cynical, pessimistic, or realistic. Regardless, I came to the conclusion that maybe I should give my heart to whomever creates the phrase with just the right amount of emotion behind it, so that I can understand their feelings."

"Good luck." Suddenly, I am exhausted. My body becomes heavy. "I want to sleep."

"Thank you, Hinata. I enjoyed our conversation. Thank you for your consolation."

I wave as I leave. I don't know why I said "good luck," but I know it wasn't because of Sonia's confusion.

I get into bed, stare at the ceiling, and turn on the headphones connected to the audio wired onto the former boy. I can hear gentle snores. I wonder what people like Komaeda dream about? I wonder how she sleeps at all.

Stupidly enough, I fall asleep to the rhythm.

  
・♥・

* * *

 

  
The world doesn't come together until someone places down something on the table with a slapping noise.

I look down. White cards with simple, black text.

"What's going on?"

"Hinata, you're back! Welcome!"

"Komaeda, answer the question."

"Last night, I suggested this game to Monokuma and he agreed. So now, we're all enjoying a nice game of Cards Against Humanity."

"Which" - interrupts Nanami - "I don't quite get."

Komaeda beams. "I'll explain!"

  1. Firstly, the person who places down the theme card (black) is called the " **Card Czar**." The **Card Czar** will gather the white cards of the players - not playing a card themselves - and will choose the funniest or their favorite card, giving a point to the owner.
  2. The people who are not **Card Czar** will receive 5 cards to play for the theme card and try to get the most points.
  3. The only catch: it's your duty to be as offensive and humiliating as possible! Make your audience suffer!



"Th-This game seems crude!" Tsumiki complains, not looking infected with the disease, but it's hard to tell, anyways.

"Oh-ho," Monokuma chuckles at the head of the table. "I suuuure do hope so! You're playing with the most DESPAIR-inducing, ULTIMATE cards: the MONOKUMA DECK™©®."

With my mind clearing up as time passes, I read my cards.

1\. Backstabbing Idol-Friend  
2\. ZA WARUDO  
3\. BAGELS  
4\. NEET  
5\. You've Got That Wrong!!!

"What," I say, "the _hell_ is this?"

Monokuma sharpens his claws. "Shuddup, Hinata, you're on my bad side still! Now, everyone we'll split into two teams, cuz there's a bunch of ya! So, Team _Hope_ has - "

Komaeda, me, Nanami, Mioda (chained to his chair without tape over his mouth), Kuzuryuu, and Saionji.

Team _Despair_ is: Tanaka, Souda (probably a death threat got her out), Owari, Mechamaru, Tsumiki, and Sonia.

Nanami begins the game as Card Czar. It's up to the 5 of us to make the Ultimate Gamer pick our card.

"' **BLANK. High five, bro** ,'" he reads. "Um, blank means that's where the white card goes."

...why has my life devolved into this?

Carelessly, I give Nanami my NEET card.

The others take longer to play. Eventually Nanami receives 5 cards to read.

He makes a face. "I can tell this will be a fun game," says Nanami, voice dripping with apathy. "Let's begin:

"Gum on your shoe. High five, bro.

"That One Fat Otaku. High five, bro.

"People butter. High five, bro.

"NEET. High five, bro.

"Auschwitz. High five, bro."

Mioda and Saionji chuckle at the last card. Komaeda remains happy and Kuzuryuu seems midly interested, almost competitive. I groan.

"I think...the most offensive card...would be Auschwitz."

Kuzuryuu punches the air. "Victory!"

Nanami hands her the black card and now it's her turn the draw the next theme card.

"Okay, it goes: ' **The only thing certain in life is death and BLANK.** ' Go!"

I grab another white card to bring my hand back up to five.

1\. Backstabbing Idol-Friend  
2\. ZA WARUDO  
3\. BAGELS  
4\. People-flavored Popsicles  
5\. You've Got That Wrong!!!

"What kind of game is this?" I mutter.

"A very offensive one!" Komaeda hands her white card to the Czar.

I turn in my first card.

"Okay, okay, I'm only reading the theme once, then all the cards. **The only thing certain in life is death and**

"2Asians1book.

"The fact that all famous people will forget you despite shaking their hands and you will die alone.

"Backstabbing Idol-Friend.

"Bronies.

"Tasting the rainbow.

"Now," Kuzuryuu struggles to say while grinning, "can I get a story on these cards?"

"Ibuki fiiiirst! See, Ibuki likes '2Asians1book,' because it shows how competitive and smart Asians are!"

"Guess that rule doesn't apply to you," Saionji snickers. "I think the really long one is accurate. I can't even begin to remember all my fans who practically crapped themselves to see me perform!"

"If I were famous," Nanami begins, "I'd love to remember my fans."

"You can't. That ain't how the real world works, sweetie."

"Bronies, rainbows, and idol friends are out," Czar Kuzuryuu says. "I like famous people."

"Yaaay, I win and you suck!" Saionji gleefully takes her point.

"' **I Love BLANK.** ' Gimme some good ones, come on!"

1\. Kirigiri x Naegi  
2\. ZA WARUDO  
3\. BAGELS  
4\. People-flavored Popsicles  
5\. You've Got That Wrong!!!

I slap down 3 because it's the only sensible noun in this scenario.

Saionji shuffles the cards and reads. " **I Love**

"BAGELS.

"White vans.

"MONOKUMA™©®£

"Burning.

"The apotheosis of a teenager to an adult."

"Oh, interesting," Komaeda murmurs. "You know, I think bagels are divine. As first I thought bagels were the diet soda of donuts, however I find bagels to be more delicious than doughnuts."

"Choose which way to spell it, y'hear!" Mioda chides. "Either it's 'donuts' or 'doughnuts!' If we don't choose a spelling, language as we know it will devolve to caveman times! Ibuki is talkin' peanuts as 'p-nuts!'"

I decide to humor him to take some stress off. "It's already beginning. Some spell ' **MURDER** ' as ' **RED RUM**.'"

Mioda gasps as harshly as the picture _The Scream._

"Nobody cares about that kinda crap!" Saionji shouts. "Anywho, let's pick a card! Ummm~? Apotheosis? Heck no. However played that is _stupid_."

"Aw," Mioda deflates.

"I like the white van card!" Saionji smiles cheerfully. "It's deliciously messed up! Who picked it?"

"That would be me," Komaeda says demurely. She becomes Card Czar and takes the next theme card. "Hm? ' **If I could be a lawyer, my catchphrase would be?** '"

I slap down the only applicable card. I keep my eyes shut, face unreadable, as Komaeda begins to read.

" **If I could be a lawyer, my catchphrase would be?**

"Aliens exist to abduct hamburgers!"

"AHO, AHO, AHO."

" _Ajo_?" Mioda interrupts with a Mexican accent. " _Sí, me gusta ajo con pan. Jajajaja_!"

"Cut that moonspeak out," Saionji demands.

"I AM CELESTIA LUDENBERG.

"Esper desu.

"You've Got That Wrong!!!"

Tsumiki starts to shuffle his cards; I can hear the noises they make. "I-I feel as though I'm missing the references."

"Who actually thinks aliens abducts hamburgers?" Kuzuryuu scoffs.

"Ah," Nanami starts. "Well..."

"I have made a selection." The table silences. "I like the 'You've Got That Wrong!!!' card. I should try that catchphrase some time!"

Without looking, I grab the black theme card from her hands and state, "This is Card Czar Hinata Hajime. Do your worst."

_...to be continued_


End file.
